Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

How to find my calling in life.

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  • #842466 Reply
    avatarCan’t find my journey
    Guest

    Hey so I’m a creative person with alot of energy I love learning, cooking, reading, designing (embroidery. Sewing. Crochet) as well as digital design but not good enough to be a graphic designer and natural health. I’m also a mum of 3 very young lovely kids. bUT since I left uni which was literally 12 years ago I have not been able to focus on one thing as in I really don’t know where to focus my passion and mind on. I’m always trying to find ways of possibly making a living from home doing something that matters to me and for others but I really cannot seem to find this within me. Everyone I know always says wow Ur so talented u should do something but I’m like yeah ok thanks but too many interests ain’t a good thing since u are just a hot mess wanting to do everything which isn’t realistic. Should I just be patient and let it come naturally or should I just assume I’ll always be a hot mess wanting to do everything or should I still continue to try new things. Just kinda sick and tired of learning so many things and not persuing something or in other words finding MY niche. Soon when the kids go of to school I need to start doing something decent for myself and household.

    #842489 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I would say chill out and stop beating yourself up. You’re exactly where you need to be right now. As things evolve, I think you’ll start to see the steps to take next.

    If you think you might have mental health issues that need treating, look into making an appointment with a doctor or counselor on your spouse’s insurance.

    You don’t necessarily need to turn one of your passions/hobbies/interests into a way to make money. Maybe you just get a part-time job and do your hobbies in your spare time (when the kids are in school I mean, not now). Maybe you go back to school and get a certificate in something. A lot of programs are basically free online and through extension schools. My dad just got a data science certificate via Harvard Extension School that cost a whopping $45. Maybe for you that’s web design or content marketing. Maybe you get certified in personal training and nutrition.

    What was your major in college?

    Just stay calm, breathe, and stop buying into this “I have to turn one of my passions into money” crap.

    #842499 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    You can’t find your journey? You’re on it. And you’re missing it while you wait for the magical inspiration fairy to land on your windowsill and bestow a calling upon you.

    Look around you. How many people in your real life do you know that have a “calling” or a “journey?” I’m not talking about the marketing slogans you see in Instagram bios or Pinterest inspo boards. I mean your friends and family. Your neighbors.

    You don’t need some grand purpose in life to have a *good* life. The very great majority of people don’t. If I have a purpose, it’s to enjoy life, enjoy my time with my family and my friends. I try to be grateful for what I have, because my life has been blessed in many ways, and give back by helping people when and where I can. I try to put some good into the world.

    You don’t have to choose one hobby and make it a calling or a career. You’ve been blessed with a lot of talents. Enjoy them. Make things for yourself, your family and friends. Set up an Etsy shop. Donate your work or your time. Teach other people how to sew, crochet, design.

    When your kids are in school and you go back to work, you can look for a job that uses one or more of your talents (teaching in a craft shop?), or just a job that pays the bills, and save the crafting for your spare time.

    #842504 Reply
    avatardinoceros
    Member

    I think you’re turning this quest to start an at-home business based off one of your hobbies into something bigger than it is.

    There’s nothing wrong with having lots of hobbies. No one is required to/expected to choose one to focus on and define themselves by it. There’s no greater value in being someone who is only good at/only cares about one thing than someone who is good at/likes to do multiple things. But you seem to imply that there’s something innately wrong with you that you can’t just have one hobby that you define your entire purpose in life by. In a society where some people’s hobbies don’t extend beyond scrolling on their phone or watching Netflix, I’m a little surprised that you’re that dismissive of being a person who has lots of interests.

    That said, you’re wanting to start a business based off a hobby, right? That’s fine. Then pick one of the hobbies that seems the most financially beneficial, marketable and feasible. You don’t need to wait for a sign or a lightning bolt that it’s the right one. You don’t need to forsake all other hobbies in exchange for that one. You just need to decide tangibly what you want to do for your business and then do it. If you really truly can’t do that, then maybe it’s just not meant to be more than a hobby.

    What I will say is that a lot of people who monetize their passions end up not finding their passion very fun anymore. It’s a lot more fun to do something as a hobby than for money because you aren’t under a deadline, you don’t have to make choices solely because it’ll sell better, etc. So, it might be best if you don’t choose your absolute favorite hobby to build a business out of because you might grow to hate it after a while anyway. It would be good for you to have other things you can still do in your spare time that bring you joy when you get sick of your money-making craft.

    #842508 Reply
    avatarCan’t find my journey
    Guest

    I majored in Surface Design which is digital and screen printing on different surfaces.

    But yeah I know this pressure about turning Ur passion into a business is always in my face and I guess in everyones faces These days.

    #842509 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I think you’re getting that from social media and a lot of it is a facade or a MLM thing.

    #842510 Reply
    avatarkeyblade
    Member

    This is a little besides the point but you ever been screened for ADHD? Taking care of three very young kids is challenging and if you don’t have the structure of an earlier career path to earmark what is next, then I don’t think it’s really that unusual to wonder what’s next. Seeking more info may not help you to feel confident as much as just choosing something and letting your talents come out as they inevitably will.

    #842519 Reply
    avatarCan’t find my journey
    Guest

    Thanks for the feedback everyone.
    Also yes lately I have started to think I may have traces of ADHD.
    I totally agree that when a passion does turn into a money making thing it does kinda lose the essence of it. Tx for the answers I’ve definitely taken the various advices on board.

    #842523 Reply
    avatarhazel
    Guest

    if you have any graphics leanings, these days it is pretty straightforward to sell your designs. There are many platforms to have t shirts, bags, mugs, fabric etc printed to order, so absolutely no initial outlay. I’m guessing you’d be way too busy to do fairs and the like, which is where you’d potentially get more profit, but there would be no harm in setting up on one of those sites and doing a bit of promoting to see where that goes. It is very rewarding seeing others enjoy what you do, and it sounds like people do like your creative output. All creativity has a point to it anyway 🙂

    #842524 Reply
    avatarhazel
    Guest

    but also what dinoceros said, +if you have three creative abilities, save one just for you and never monetise it.

    #842525 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    “But yeah I know this pressure about turning Ur passion into a business is always in my face and I guess in everyones faces These days.”

    Who’s putting pressure on you? I think this is pressure you’re putting on yourself. Is it an option? Sure. I knit, crochet, and make jewelry. Several people have suggested that I open an Etsy shop. I take it as a compliment, but I certainly don’t see it as pressure to actually do it, and anyway, I wouldn’t want to. My hobbies are for me. I do them for my own pleasure and for stress relief. Trying to make a business out of them would turn them into a source of stress and ruin the fun for me.

    #842619 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    Why do you pursue these activities: For passion? To explore and learn? To make a living?

    Here’s the truth about turning crafting/creativity into a business.
    1. You are in an over saturated market with lots of options available online – so you have have to price yourself right and stand out from the crowd. So you have to deliver the right combination of quality, price and uniqueness. If you under price, you will lose money unless you can make up for it in volume (possible but unlikely – you can’t make money if you’re pricing based on cost of supplies alone).

    2. If you find that unique item, you now have to replicate that over and over and over – that’s what you sell. You can do variations on a theme, but if you design little toad brooches, that’s what you make. You make brooches. You make brooches with little animals. You make things with toads. But the vendors that do well, work within a small niche – you can’t have seventeen different types of unrelated crafts for sale – otherwise you look like a rummage sale. Think about any successful band, they have to play their hits every freaking show or else their audience is disappointed. You can grow, and change, but it has to be slowly and almost imperceptible to your base clientele.

    3. Once you find success – know that others will steal your ideas and you have to be prepared to either accept that others will push your techniques to new heights or that you have to legally fight for your copyrights (case by case basis).

    4. I can’t reiterate what Essie said enough. You are proposing turning a hobby into your job. To be honest, if you’ve been dabbling and you haven’t found something that you really enjoy and can find a way to push your personal boundaries then I don’t think this is really what you want. You’d As a crafter who has dabbled in a number of different things – I have figured out what pleases me and where I can bring the different techniques I love to the table to make something that is uniquely mine. But I also know that I cut up little pieces of paper for the joy and when I have to meet an “order” it stresses the crap out of me and I find myself counting the in progress and completed items repeatedly to know when I can stop.

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