November 28, 2018 at 11:23 pm #810383
A Worried College Student
I am a young college student, and I have to ride the bus to the college from where I live. My long-time girlfriend, now my fiancee, often travels with me as she also has classes at the college. However, several people- some students, a few community members, and a couple of teachers, have complained that we do too much PDA. I freely admit that we kiss a bit too frequently in public. However, we try to avoid doing it where people have to see us- we sit in the back of the bus, we step into unused hallways, and we find a secluded corner of the library. My question is two-fold- First, how can I avoid ticking people off without giving up too much of my limited time with my fiancee (our living arrangements and schedules prevent us from spending much time together). Second, how can I redeem my image with those who I have irritated. Apologies are in order, of course, but I fear that will not be enough. What do people suggest I do?November 29, 2018 at 6:38 am #810389
I mean, what are the consequences really? You’re annoying some people? Is this going to affect your grades and / or your chances to get recommendations for internships or awards or jobs? I guess that’s possible, but if so the damage is already done.
I guess to me the bigger issue is why are you MARRYING someone you don’t get to spend normal couple time with, so you have to get hot and heavy on the bus??November 29, 2018 at 7:48 am #810392
What consequences? You are adult.November 29, 2018 at 8:27 am #810399
I honestly cannot imagine how over the top you must be for *several* people to have approached you about this. Seriously, get a room.November 29, 2018 at 9:01 am #810400
Right? If it’s a full on make out sesh, just, no! That’s not appropriate at school or on the bus.
If it’s a few pecks and hugs, than I don’t think you have to worry about it.November 29, 2018 at 9:18 am #810402
@juliecatharine, I was thinking the same thing. Who even notices PDA unless it’s really over the top? And if it’s a regular thing for people to mention it to you…it’s over the top.
Quick pecks and hugs are fine. Hand holding is fine. If it’s anything more than that (extended tongue kissing, groping, etc), find a private place to do it. Not the back of the bus. Not a hallway. A room with a door, that you close.
Lots of people have s/o’s they can’t see often. They manage without making out in public.November 29, 2018 at 9:30 am #810404
Ah crap. Note so self, stop grabbing my husbands buns in public.
Nah, not gonna stop.
But ya I really do wonder how much is going on if someone mentions it. We are super touchy people, regardless of where, but no ones parts are coming out or is there moaning in public. Get a hotel room if you need privacy so much.
November 29, 2018 at 9:47 am #810408
- This reply was modified 2 weeks, 5 days ago by JD.
If numerous people have complained, it’s too much. And it’s clearly not in private areas if many people have seen you.
You can correct your image by not engaging in over the top PDA in front of other people, and apologizing if it comes up.November 29, 2018 at 9:49 am #810409
Why is she your fiancée if your living situations and schedule don’t allow for time alone?November 29, 2018 at 11:10 am #810419
Don’t grope your fiancée in public. “Public” refers to “area that is not private.” That would include the back of a bus, a hallway, a classroom that people wander in and out of, etc. As for fixing your image: Once you stop groping your fiancee in public, people will get over it and move on.November 29, 2018 at 11:36 am #810421
You don’t need to apologize, you big drama queen. Just stop doing it. Problem solved.
Also, you sound waaay too young to get married. Based on this letter, you’ll probably figure that out in very dramatic fashion eventually.November 29, 2018 at 2:56 pm #810446
@jd grabbing buns is iffy if over clothing and fully icky if under clothing