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How to Minimize PDA and Its Consequences.

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This topic contains 22 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar [email protected] 2 weeks, 3 days ago.

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  • #810383 Reply
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    A Worried College Student

    I am a young college student, and I have to ride the bus to the college from where I live. My long-time girlfriend, now my fiancee, often travels with me as she also has classes at the college. However, several people- some students, a few community members, and a couple of teachers, have complained that we do too much PDA. I freely admit that we kiss a bit too frequently in public. However, we try to avoid doing it where people have to see us- we sit in the back of the bus, we step into unused hallways, and we find a secluded corner of the library. My question is two-fold- First, how can I avoid ticking people off without giving up too much of my limited time with my fiancee (our living arrangements and schedules prevent us from spending much time together). Second, how can I redeem my image with those who I have irritated. Apologies are in order, of course, but I fear that will not be enough. What do people suggest I do?

    #810389 Reply
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    Kate

    I mean, what are the consequences really? You’re annoying some people? Is this going to affect your grades and / or your chances to get recommendations for internships or awards or jobs? I guess that’s possible, but if so the damage is already done.

    I guess to me the bigger issue is why are you MARRYING someone you don’t get to spend normal couple time with, so you have to get hot and heavy on the bus??

    #810392 Reply
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    JD

    What consequences? You are adult.

    #810399 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    I honestly cannot imagine how over the top you must be for *several* people to have approached you about this. Seriously, get a room.

    #810400 Reply
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    ktfran
    Participant

    Right? If it’s a full on make out sesh, just, no! That’s not appropriate at school or on the bus.

    If it’s a few pecks and hugs, than I don’t think you have to worry about it.

    #810402 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    @juliecatharine, I was thinking the same thing. Who even notices PDA unless it’s really over the top? And if it’s a regular thing for people to mention it to you…it’s over the top.

    Quick pecks and hugs are fine. Hand holding is fine. If it’s anything more than that (extended tongue kissing, groping, etc), find a private place to do it. Not the back of the bus. Not a hallway. A room with a door, that you close.

    Lots of people have s/o’s they can’t see often. They manage without making out in public.

    #810404 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    Ah crap. Note so self, stop grabbing my husbands buns in public.

    Nah, not gonna stop.

    But ya I really do wonder how much is going on if someone mentions it. We are super touchy people, regardless of where, but no ones parts are coming out or is there moaning in public. Get a hotel room if you need privacy so much.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 5 days ago by avatar JD.
    #810408 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    If numerous people have complained, it’s too much. And it’s clearly not in private areas if many people have seen you.

    You can correct your image by not engaging in over the top PDA in front of other people, and apologizing if it comes up.

    #810409 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    Why is she your fiancée if your living situations and schedule don’t allow for time alone?

    #810419 Reply
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    Northern Star

    Don’t grope your fiancée in public. “Public” refers to “area that is not private.” That would include the back of a bus, a hallway, a classroom that people wander in and out of, etc. As for fixing your image: Once you stop groping your fiancee in public, people will get over it and move on.

    #810421 Reply
    TaraMonster
    TaraMonster
    Participant

    You don’t need to apologize, you big drama queen. Just stop doing it. Problem solved.

    Also, you sound waaay too young to get married. Based on this letter, you’ll probably figure that out in very dramatic fashion eventually.

    #810446 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    @jd grabbing buns is iffy if over clothing and fully icky if under clothing

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