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Dear Wendy

How To Negotiate Successfully

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This topic contains 120 replies, has 16 voices, and was last updated by avatar Kate 2 months ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 25 through 36 (of 121 total)
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  • #815204 Reply
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    Charlie

    My son has a therapist, a psychiatrist, a pastor, and a support group. I don’t know what I haven’t done or tried. I still show up everyday and hold him accountable.

    Embarrassed because I am judged as a woman. He dated a woman almost half my age before me, he can date someone similar after me and nobody will say anything. Me- I am dating down because he isn’t a lawyer or a doctor. I desperate because I haven’t held out for some equal in income, stature , and intelligence. I should learn to be happy being single.

    #815206 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Are YOU a doctor or a lawyer?

    #815207 Reply
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    Fyodor

    I am sorry that he pulled out of your wedding. It doea not make you a loser or mean that you deserve to settle for half a loaf forever. Many people have broken engagements and go on to have happy lives. You need to start that process by moving out and moving on.

    #815208 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    The only way you’re being judged that I can see is you moved back in with someone who canceled your wedding.

    You’re being really vague about your son, so that’s why you’re getting pushback and people asking for clarification.

    #815209 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Accountable? For what? It’s not a war, you know. This raising of your son.
    .
    And NEWSFLASH… honestly? Your attitude doesn’t exactly imply you are much of a catch. So… The guy didn’t marry you. Move the fuck on already. PS — get off the cross. Others, surely, need the wood.

    #815210 Reply
    CurlyQue
    CurlyQue
    Participant

    YES, you should focus on being happy and being SINGLE.

    This man embarrassed you and yet you still moved in with him? Focus on yourself and your son and move out. If the guy is such a deadbeat then you don’t need him to put a roof over your head so moving out should logistically be easier. You should also consider getting your own therapist and possibly a family therapist.

    #815211 Reply
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    JD

    The things you think people look down on your for are all in your head. Let me help you with this one thing many people don’t seem to get. People aren’t thinking about you. It’s that simple. No one really cares that much. You just think they do.

    #815213 Reply
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    Oracle

    Oh,his light bulb has gone off, he does not want to marry you with or without your son. Since you state your income is good move out. Even if it wasn’t you still need to move out. This guy is going to find someone else, it’s just a matter of time. Your terms or his. You state you have tried everything with your son. No you have NOT. There are many good therapeutic boarding schools. When things are not working you try something else. Would do you son a world of good to be in different situation with one on one trained help.

    #815214 Reply
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    ron

    And what almost everyone else said: there is nothing here to be negotiated. Just MOA.

    #815215 Reply
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    ron

    Also, why isn’t your son’s father helping and caring for his child part of the time?

    #815217 Reply
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    Charlie

    I am a nuclear scientist and I spend 10 hours a day with nuclear scientists and I don’t want to go home to a nuclear scientist.
    My son’s father left when my son was 18 months and hasn’t been involved since. His involvement extended as far as me and my money and when I cut those two off it was over.

    #815218 Reply
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    JD

    No one cares who you want to go home to or not. Stop with your obsession with other people’s perceptions. That is literally the very least Of your problems. Get yourself into some therapy.

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