Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

how to talk to someone you havent talked to in a while??

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  • #843303 Reply

    so basically i had a really really close friend in high school. we talked everyday and have a lot in common. when i went to college i basically got really depressed and didn’t talk to many people. i stopped responding to her because she was having a really really good time at her college and met lots of friends. i guess i just kinda assumed she didn’t care anymore bc she had like a million friends. i was also kind of embarrassed about my situation with my college and having no friends. i left that college and transferred somewhere close to home. i rly miss her and want to text her bc we had a great friendship going, i just blew it. i feel like its been like 7 months and she wont take my back. i havent tried yet and dont know what to even say in the text… do i explain my absence? however i dont want to because i hate talking about my depression its kinda awkward for me. but i feel like its kinda shitty to just text her hey and act like nothing happened when i had been ignoring her messages for weeks. what do i do????

    #843326 Reply

    i say reach out to her….explain about how you were feeling really down and that is the reason for not responding….say you miss her and would love to reconnect….the worst that can happen is that she doesn’t respond….but if you don’t take the chance you will never know….if you were friends then she should forgive you for becoming distant….hopefully you can reestablish the friendship

    #843328 Reply

    I would just call her instead of texting, and then be genuine. If you tell her you had a very difficult time at college and had to move to an other one, because you felt really sad, well, she will probably sympathise. Friends are moved when they get an explanation about why they didn’t get answers and lost contact. Say that you are reconnecting step by step and would like to get some news from her: the relationship won’t resume the way it was, but she might still be open to chat with you. Then ask her how she is. The more genuine you are about your own problems (depression), the more probable the reconnection with her. But don’t set her as a model that you can’t reach (she has so many friends): just be focused on the connection with her, and see if you can be yourself in this friendly relationship.

    #843338 Reply

    If she still values you as a friend she will always be around for a catching up chat where you can tell her what you have been going through and how you feel bad for ignoring her.

    #843420 Reply
    Dear WendyDear Wendy

    Here’s a sample script (which you could say on the phone or in a text or over email – whatever you are comfortable with): “Hi [friend’s name]! I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I’m sorry I fell out of touch for a while. I was going through some personal things I didn’t share with anyone and ended up isolating myself from good friends like you. I wish I could have reached out to you, but I just didn’t know how to talk about what I was going through and I didn’t want to burden anyone. I hope you never thought my silence was a reflection of our friendship. I have missed you and, if you have time, I’d love a chance to get together and catch up. I hope you’ve had a great year.”

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