Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Husband is on Grindr

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This topic contains 56 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by avatar carolann 7 months ago.

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  • #762269 Reply

    I found out in April that my husband has Grindr app and I saw his google activity and history it showed that he went on Grindr every day. I confronted him and he denied everything. At first he said he doesn’t know what I’m talking about them he said he downloaded it by accident and he didn’t know what it was. I’m sure he is lying to me. Since I saw Grindr on his phone I can’t sleep anymore and I feel sick. I’m thinking about divorce even though I don’t have proof that he was doing something. What do I do?

    #762272 Reply

    You do have proof. Literally no one ever accidentally downloaded Grindr and didn’t know it. And then you have proof (through Google? I don’t get that but whatever) that he went on Grindr every day, so that proves he’s lying. You have the proof. Confront him with the proof and ask him why he’s on a MFM hookup app, and that you need him to be honest with you. If he won’t, start divorce proceedings because he’s a lying cheater.

    #762276 Reply

    Nobody accidentally downloads Grindr — except dumb Republicans who will later CLAIM they thought it was a some hipster coffee ap. Uh-huh. Sure…
    You need to have a big talk about this. How old is yourhusband? Is he religious? Hate to be the bearee of bad news you already know… but He’s just another sad lying closet case.
    Start looking for a divorce attorney. STAT!

    #762278 Reply

    Yeah, that’s proof. I don’t know if you’re referring to proof that he slept with someone else or not, but isn’t your husband wanting to meet up with/date/sleep with someone else and attempting to find someone to do it with bad on its own?

    The bigger issue is that he is denying it. On top of him trying to cheat or actually cheating, he’s also a liar and doesn’t respect you enough to be honest.

    #762279 Reply

    You know the answer. He’s cheating or trying to cheat. Don’t wait until he gives you and STI or you’re pregnant and it’s harder to leave him. You’re the safe home base, from which he goes out to cheat. Based on the story he told, he also thinks you’re stupid. The reason it seems like he doesn’t respect you, is because he doesn’t respect you.

    #762282 Reply
    Northern Star

    Well, try and put yourself in his shoes. Would you ever A.) download a random hookup app, not knowing what you downloaded, and then B.) use that same app every single day, innocently?

    Does that sound even halfway plausible?

    No. Duh. Obviously. Don’t be gullible.

    #762286 Reply

    WEES. So…you’ve been sleepless since April and he has been what? Business as usual? That alone should tell you all you need to know—that he doesn’t give a shit about you. You don’t need video and three eye witnesses to prove he’s cheating or trying to cheat. That’s the reality and you know it which is why you’re not sleeping. Get a lawyer and start the process. Get a therapist to have a source of support and unpack why you would be willing to stay put for 3-4 months when you know your husband is lying through his teeth.

    #762292 Reply

    Um ya you have to type in a password to download an app. He knew. You should have already left him. File for divorce and get tested for STDs tomorrow!!

    #762306 Reply

    This is basically the story that your husband is trying to sell you on

    #762308 Reply

    Link includes some foul language.

    #762310 Reply

    Oh and you do have proof. Him using the Shaggy defense doesn’t make it not proof. If someone killed someone and they had it ok video but the murderer said “I didn’t do it” do you think they’d say “oh ok!”

    #762394 Reply

    It’s called gaslighting – telling you that you didn’t see what you actually saw and dismissing any concerns you have as “overreacting”.

    Doesn’t matter if it was Grindr, Tinder or any other dating app. Your husband is either cheating on you, investigating cheating on you, or getting a vicarious thrill out of considering cheating on you.

    Whatever the case, he’s not in this marriage honestly. You can try therapy but tbh – you know that this is over unless you have a detachable peen.

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