JuliecatharineJuly 12, 2018 at 3:53 pm #762442
You need to stop living in denial. He’s a liar, a cheater, a closet case, a coke head, bad with money, and a hypocrite to boot. That is what you married. From what you’re writing things haven’t gotten worse so much as they have not gotten better. You put your faith in the wrong man. It happens but it didn’t happen *to you* you’ve made decisions that have brought you to this point in your marriage. Choosing to look the other way is choosing to stay with someone who is a terrible partner and frankly, a pretty shitty person overall. Do whatever you need to do to extricate yourself and your husband. Make a plan for financial independence, talk to lawyers, protect your son.JuliecatharineJuly 12, 2018 at 3:54 pm #762443
*extricate yourself and your son* not husband. Good luck LW, I hope you find a better partner one day. Nobody deserves this crap.Ruby TuesdayJuly 12, 2018 at 4:41 pm #762445
I second the suggestion that you check any cloud storage for your phone for copies of the photos. Deleting them off the device doesn’t necessarily mean Jen deleted the photos entirely.LanaJuly 12, 2018 at 5:24 pm #762454
He only used his phone and of course I don’t have an access to his phone. Only if someone can hack his accounts even though he deleted them. I don’t even know his username on Grindr and I think he has so many different google emails. On top of that I don’t know any techie people I wish I knew somebody who can hack his accounts. Even then I think he will say it’s not true.JDJuly 12, 2018 at 5:57 pm #762460
So what if he says it’s not true. Not sure if you live in an at fault state but saying “not uh” usually doesn’t get you far.FyodorJuly 12, 2018 at 6:10 pm #762462
I would worry less about proving his infidelity and more about extricating yourself from the marriage.LanaJuly 12, 2018 at 7:55 pm #762470
Yeah that’s what I’m trying to do now but it seems impossible because we depend on each other financially. I don’t know how to move out because where we live right now rent is super expensive but my son goes to a good school. I can only move where the good schools are.
Who cares what his family thinks? You know the truth and could easily tell them.
When you have a man who *can’t even* look at two men kissing, that’s basically a giant red flag directing you to question his sexuality.
Contact a lawyer ASAP. You need to get a divorce and file for custody. They will help you figure out the money situation.
Go to your carrier’s retail location and ask them if they restore the screenshots you took out of your cloud storage. Or contact Apple. Stop leaving your phone out and vulnerable to your lying and cheating husband.
I know this WAS a shock 4 months ago, but it’s been four months, and you need to take action to protect you and your son NOW. Don’t worry about your son, you aren’t breaking up the marriage or turning his father into a drug addict/potential cheater.FyodorJuly 13, 2018 at 9:12 am #762527
It’s my go to example for whenever someone is disingenuous about their responsibility for things that are happening. But it’s pretty literally what this guy is saying.AnonJuly 13, 2018 at 9:27 am #762528
Ditch his ass