February 13, 2020 at 11:31 am #875129bagge72Participant
This post is almost 2 years old.March 19, 2020 at 11:36 pm #878064DiscreetGuest
I am so sorry to hear about ur story. I would like to know what has happened with you. I am in the same exact situation.January 15, 2021 at 6:54 pm #1005493A.GuyGuest
I came across this post and thought I’d add my 2c in, for what it’s worth, add a voice of a guy (yes, I’m a guy).
I don’t want to get into the issue of you leaving or not leaving, and this is for many people who may come across this post and are worrying or wondering – I just want to address some of the other areas.
As a male myself and married for many many years, I love my wife dearly. We stopped having sex years ago after the kids were born and despite numerous attempts at kick starting our relationship, it never sparked back into life.
My advancing age and wondering mind eventually took me onto gay websites and I was thrilled again, just like I did as a teenager. Seeing other males naked and wondering made me act on it one night.
I felt exhilarated and disgusted at the same time. It wasn’t anything emotional and was a pure physical episode, like itching a scratch. I got immense physical pleasure from it, but – and this may sound weird, I don´t call myself gay, nor associate with what it is to be gay. It was purely a physical excerise.
May I add that I would never even dream of having an affair with another woman, I love my wife too much, she occupies my whole existence, I could never betray that.
I can never tell my wife what happened as like many here, it’s not understood. But listen to me when I tell you, there are a LOT of men, many married, that are having sex with other men. There are clubs, bars, apps, events that cater for such things, many times the men don’t even bother taking their wedding rings off and it’s on the rise.
It sounds really harsh and probably improbable. But it’s the truth.
I hope I don’t come across as a monster, I’m a really nice guy, and am burning inside to come clean with my wife and tell her everything, but I fear the response like 99% have highlighted here.
If this response is just or not, is not my call, I just wanted to tell you from the other side.
Maybe open up and talk about why your partner/husband feels the way he does, it may have just been a one off, he may be looking for that spark again. Instead of throwing your relationship in the bin, try talk about it and find a solution.
Having sex with another man doesn’t make you gay, and if you think like that, you may just be part of the problem.
HTHJanuary 16, 2021 at 8:26 am #1006128KateKeymaster
Um, you need to be a better person and tell your wife what you’re doing. Stop hiding behind your dumb excuses like “it was just physical!” “Many married men have sex with men!” And actually do the decent thing and be honest so your wife can decide for herself. Right now you’re cheating and you’re depriving her of her autonomy to make an informed decision. Sorry, it’s not her responsibility to probe and push you to admit you’re having sex with men. It’s your responsibility to stop being an asshole and tell her the truth.January 16, 2021 at 8:33 am #1006135anonymousseParticipant
You have the self awareness of a rock.
I agree, have some respect for your marriage and wife and tell her what you’re doing.January 16, 2021 at 8:33 am #1006137KateKeymasterFebruary 15, 2021 at 2:35 pm #1030464A.WifeGuest
You “love” your wife and she’s your “whole existence” but your routinely cheat on her with men? Yeah, I’m doubting your love for her. Come clean so she can make a her own decisions. Let me ask you….if she wanted to restart your sex life would you stop having sex with men? No? That’s what I thought.February 15, 2021 at 4:09 pm #1030469HazelParticipant
So you cheat on your wife (who do not have sex with,) regularly, with men, and you think that the people who might think that suggests you my in fact be gay, are part of some “problem” (-what problem exactly???) Because YOU aren’t gay, no sirree! No way, no way are you gay, no matter how many men you sleep with!! Listen, there is absolutely zero wrong with being gay or bi or whatever but there is a lot wrong with how you are treating your wife.