“Husband Lost Job But Refuses to Move Us Back Home”

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    November 2, 2023 at 7:39 am #1126469

    From a LW:

    “Four years ago my husband moved us (our 3 children under 18) to another state for him to get a promotion. It was supposed to be a 2 year contract. I had grown children in our previous state, but they were still some what young thought over 18. So I left 5 children that were in their early 20s to 32 years old in our previous state. He also told all of them it was for two years. so we get here, it was a major stress with him being threatened to be terminated almost the whole time.

    Now earlier this year he was actually fired. We have now been here 4 years, and he has lost his job,but still says no to going back home where my family is. When first moving here, it was a culture shock for me and I would have nightmares about the other ones I left at home. He has since bought a home only in his name here. I’ve been unhappy in our new state the whole time. This man is not leaving, and plans to stay forever. If I decide to divorce because I feel he has not taken my feelings into consideration, and our financial hardship since we moved here, then I would surely be separating our children, one is 14, 11, and 8 years old.

    What do I do? also he is not an active participant in our family, he is a video game addict that sits at his desk at all hours, it’s really a miserable situation for me in general.”

    Part-time Lurker
    November 2, 2023 at 8:45 am #1126473

    Do you have a job or any income of your own?

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    November 7, 2023 at 3:37 pm #1126544

    You need to go see a family law attorney ASAP to see what rights you have to the house he bought and what your options would be if you leave him, both financially and for custody purposes. Use that information to make informed decisions. I think you may be making some assumptions here. For instance, I wouldn’t necessarily assume you’d be separating your children from each other if you got a divorce (assuming they’re all your children and not your step children), but you will have to have a shared custody arrangement. And a child support agreement. And maybe a financial support agreement, depending on your circumstances.

    November 9, 2023 at 8:38 am #1126565

    Yes, my general employment of a mail carrier is more dangerous here. I have icy cliffs, and my mail trucks slide backwards. Also I have had to quit 3 times, due to going into repetitive motion injuries. I keep getting tennis elbow and golfers elbow in both arms, so it’s been difficult. I just got hired as a cashier, so I also have knee arthritis, so I’m just physically in rough shape.

    November 9, 2023 at 8:40 am #1126566

    Oh the state said post office keeps working me 100-120 hours every two weeks, so it’s probably why the repetitive stress injuries

    January 16, 2024 at 12:22 am #1127640

    Late to this discussion, but you should talk to an attorney without telling him… then potentially say take the kids for a break back to your old state. If you are there long enough, typically the divorce and custody laws are now in effect for the place that your are then living. The fact that he bought a place in only HIS name makes this more legally and morally acceptable.

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“Husband Lost Job But Refuses to Move Us Back Home”

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