I’m an adult whose dad abandoned her (and my brother) at age 11. My parents had a custody agreement. He just stopped making plans or trying at all. He also took the “They will find me as an adult,” route.
I didn’t see him for eleven years (he lived three hours away) and he only did because my grandmother was taking me on a vacation and it was easy and convenient for him.
I cannot even fully express the way this has affected my life. It’s really depressing. Now, at 35, as a parent of two …
I just can’t even imagine being so selfish and cruel to abandon his own children. I would do anything it took to see my children.
It breaks my heart. Nothing he can ever say will ever make me feel better. There’s no excuse to be made. I have seen him 3 times since that vacation. (Yes, in over a decade.)I basically have decided to think of him as a random guy I see sometimes. He’s not my father. At least I have my brother to vent to and quite honestly-grieve the father we should have had.
This boy will not understand why his father stopped fighting for him. He will feel abandoned (because not trying IS abandoning him.) and they will never have the relationship his son deserves.
I think it’s really something that YOU feel compelled to force him to fight for his child. There are many words that I want to use to describe your bf, but I will hold off.
He should be filing for some custody, he should be consulting or contacting a lawyer. It’s ridiculous and sad that he’s giving up and putting the responsibility on his child.