Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I don’t even know where to begin

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by avatar HannaMarin 3 days, 14 hours ago.

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  • #853412 Reply
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    Person

    So there’s this girl who I like and we have been texting for months and when school came around we where talking and at our schools outdoor dance she pulled me to a more less populated area to talk I swear she was into me she always texted me good night. Today was our Homecoming dance and I saw a guy groping right on her ass she looked pretty fine with it to until she saw me and she just kinda froze. I didn’t dance with her cause I’m to sacred to make my moves but after er this id say it’s time. I’m actually really heartbroken right now and it sucks

    #853414 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Hi again.

    Yes, this girl likes texting with you to some extent, likes talking to you and having an outlet and attention, but she’s not into you in a way that she wants to be your girlfriend.

    “A guy groping right on her ass and she looked pretty fine with it.” Yes, she was dancing with a guy who had his hand on her backside and she was comfortable with it. I’m sorry, but that has nothing to do with you. She’s a single young woman who can dance and get physical (or not) with anyone she likes. She can have a boy or boys that she texts with, boys she dances with, boys she crushes on, boys she dates. Or girls, whatever. It’s her business. I don’t like the implication that now you have to make a move because you saw another guy touching her. She’s no ones property. Keep texting with her if you enjoy it, but please process the fact that you are not the only guy she talks to.

    #853428 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Another thing, texting someone goodnight is in no way an indication that you’re into them. It’s also a polite way to get them to stop messaging you.

    For that matter, neither does *not* moving a guy’s hand off your backside, if you’re a 16-y/o girl, mean you’re “fine with it.” You might just not know what to do.

    You can’t look for signs, like her voice gets high when she talks to you or she texts you goodnight, to decide for her what she feels. Unless and until she’s your girlfriend and telling you how she feels, it doesn’t matter.

    #853430 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    Just ask her out. I know that’s scary and you want to look for signs that she likes you and analyze and interpret everything she says and does…but all that gets you nowhere.

    Just ask. She’ll either say yes or no. If yes, yay, you get to date her. If no, you feel sad for a week and then you get on with life and soon there’s another girl that you like.

    #853431 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    They did go on a date, or at least they were going to go to the homecoming game together. Agreeing to a date is a good step forward to figuring out how two people feel about each other, but it’s not an answer in itself. It also wouldn’t mean she can’t dance with other guys or have crushes.

    #853432 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    Oops, sorry, I missed that.

    #853433 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Haha, no you didn’t, it’s not in this post. I’m being a bit more of a dick than usual because this person keeps writing in pretending they haven’t previously.

    #853434 Reply

    You can’t know if she was fine with it or not. She might have been. She might have not been and just didn’t know what to do, or was trying to think of what to do when you saw her. You don’t know.

    If you’re too scared to dance with her or make a move, you might miss out. What is the worst that could happen? You’ll be disappointed. You’ll also be disappointed if you never make a move. Gather your courage and try.

    #854105 Reply
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    The OP29

    Update- things have been going normal we talked by text for like 5 hours just back in forth (we had off of school) she also asked what girls I know and a couple of her secrets.I asked if she dated anyone and she said no then I said no aswell then she said she didn’t like anyone so I said the same. Only thing that changed is that she she texted good night weird which is kinda off a stretch. I think it’s time too move on it’s clear that she just sees me as a friend and I’m not trying to fight my way out of the friend zone because that might ruin our friendship which I would like too keep. That gonna be hard because all off my friends think I’m dating her like no joke I tryed to tell them that we are not be they all think we are.

    #854123 Reply
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    HannaMarin
    Member

    Yeah, she told you that she doesn’t like anyone and that includes you. She was being subtle about it but the message was clear enough.

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