Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I don’t know how she feels

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by avatar Kate 3 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #850880 Reply
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    Anonymous

    Ok so there’s this girl that I started talking to a couple months back via text and nothing to fancy happened I’m waiting until school starts. I’ve been playing it safe just asking simple questions like what’s her favorite movie food etc. So I texted something and it took her 2 days to respond I don’t know why so after football practice she had texted me that she had felt super awful and when I asked her why she had explained how he really hated her mom and that her cousins and sister did aswell and she used hate in all caps to she also mentioned a lot of other things but what really stuck out to me the most was that when her mom was in the shower the glass door fell on her and she was hurt and she proceeded to say that her and her sister did not fell sorry for her and that she deserved it. Long story short I had told her she should try talking to her mom and I told her more things as well but I won’t list it here she went on another 5 paragraph rant about how her mom doesn’t listen to her. I was trying my best to cheer her up and I don’t know if it worked after that we just talked about what we do with our friends.

    I don’t know why she took out her rant on me. I don’t know how many people she told this to but it seemed pretty personal so I will keep her name out of this. I don’t know how to comprehend this but I guess you could say she is comfortable expressing her fellings.Sorry for the essay I’m just so confused I will update if anything happens

    #850892 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yeah, that’s weird, for her to go off on a deeply emotional angry personal rant about her mother to some guy she doesn’t know well who’s been asking innocuous questions and maybe lightly flirting. It sounds like her home life is bad and she’s got issues with boundaries and social cues. This is a foretaste of what it would be like to date her. I don’t think you want to pursue this.

    It is possible she’s being abused at home, and maybe you want to just say you’re concerned about the stuff she texted you, it sounds like a lot, and is she okay.

    But yeah, I wouldn’t try to date her.

    #850914 Reply
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    OP

    Yea but I really do love her and I can put up with her family life. Update: I texted her right after my football practice. She texted me back right when she got home from work. We talked again this time about how are day went and what our favorite numbers were she didn’t bring up her mom again so I think just had to get it off her mind and let it out and that’s fine and I think that she felt comfortable telling me

    #850915 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    You… ~love~ her?

    “I started talking to a couple months back via text and nothing to fancy happened I’m waiting until school starts. I’ve been playing it safe just asking simple questions…”

    How?

    #850916 Reply
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    OP

    It’s a long story bud

    #850917 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yikes.

    #850918 Reply
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    OP

    And what’s wrong with loveing someone?

    #850919 Reply

    How did you fall in love via text over a few months? In which your conversation revolves around favorite foods and numbers? And how she hates her mother and doesn’t feel bad after a glass shower door fell on her and hurt her?

    I mean, if she truly hates her mom and has zero empathy, I wouldn’t expect your feelings to be reciprocated, bud.

    #850920 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Nothing. Nothing is wrong with loving somebody…. When they aren’t shitcrazy.

    #850929 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    I think to love someone (as opposed to crush or infatuation) you have to know them. And you don’t know someone well enough to love them after 2 months of casual texting about superficial topics like favorite numbers and movie foods.

    Obviously there’s nothing wrong with loving someone if you’ve spent time with them and know who they really are. But you haven’t. You’re telling yourself that she unloaded that stuff on you about her home life because she feels some special degree of comfort with you (and now i get you wanted us to agree that it means she feels something for you) but I don’t think so. People who overshare like that are either just oversharers in general, or they’re just so wound up and angry in the moment that it all comes busting out.

    But sure, you’re in love after texting about pizza toppings all summer and her telling you she hates her mom.

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