- This topic has 18 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 months, 1 week ago by QuirkyChicken.
AnonymousseMarch 1, 2023 at 2:40 pm #1118887
I think everyone had great suggestions. Just literally sitting next to him, looking him in the eye directly and saying that he knows it’s been hard with Daisy and if he ever needs to talk, you’re able to. Perhaps, you could check in with a briefly counselor or do some googling in anticipation. Maybe offering to take photos of them together, then making art as a surprise would be a nice thing to do now, since she is still here. Ask him what you can do when it gets worse.
When/if it happens and she gets really bad or dies:
Offer to be with him at the vet/hospital
Possibly consider going over (or offering to pay for)washing his dishes, laundry or making or buying meals for him. (Good ideas for close friends/family.) That’s not at all necessary, but it’s a nice thing to do, it’s a concrete offer (after you’ve had dinner, maybe-“let me wash these up for you!” not really a big deal but a couple helpful chores done when you’re dragging through grief can make the world of difference.
Forgive me for the next paragraph, all pet owners.
I know it will be really hard, and he’ll grieve her eventual loss hard, but if he loved one dog that much…don’t you think he’d want another dog one day? There are so many dogs who need loving homes, and I am so sorry to be disrespectful of Daisy, but I just want to point out, he’ll be okay, and he can get another dog who may not be as awesome as Daisy, but she might. Or she might be even awesomer.AnonymousseMarch 1, 2023 at 2:40 pm #1118888
Yeah, it’s just that horrible period before you get another dog, if you do. We got another one too soon. My husband was thinking he’d be just like our other dog (same breed), but he’s got a totally different personality. we absolutely love him as much, but it is different. And omg the pain was so bad after the passing. We got the new puppy to try to make it go away, but that’s not really healthy or great. You have to get through it.
Just want to say what a great sister you are. So many people do not understand the absolute devastation the loss of a companion animal can be. A sentient being who you often spend far more time with than many people (who you also love deeply) leaves a gaping hole in so many parts of your day, as well as your life.If you want to, and can, spending some time with him while outdoors in nature is a good way to allow for quiet grieving. I’d try (as I think someone suggested) being out on the water, something he won’t have done with Daisy. I hope it all goes well for you both.AnonymousseMarch 1, 2023 at 3:02 pm #1118891
Yeah, you’re really sweet.AngeMarch 1, 2023 at 4:43 pm #1118900
I agree another pet could be a good idea but you can’t rush it. We got a kitten five days after my cat died (and three days after I had knee surgery!) and it was probably too soon. She’s the absolute light of our lives now and will be the cat I think we mourn the hardest when she goes but I struggled to bond at first.
I think along with the other excellent suggestions though if your brother is struggling, giving him that purpose again may be a good thing. It sounds like his dog has had an excellent life (which he should be commended for), being able to offer that to another dog that needs a home would be such a gift.QuirkyChickenMarch 1, 2023 at 11:21 pm #1118904
Wow, thank you everyone. Definitely some good ideas here to work with. As for whether or not he would get another dog, idk. I don’t think for awhile. Whether he does or doesn’t hasn’t really factored in to my worries here. I know he would probably rescue any other dog. That’s who he is as a person. He loves dogs a lot, but Daisy is special. I don’t even k They’re a matching set.
I just don’t want him to go to some dark place or feel alone or make him feel like im suffocating him. I found some cool sculptures on Etsy earlier, one in particular whose style I like, I may message them at some point asking about commissions. I’d probably wait a little while until after she passes to give him anything like though.