No, it’s not normal to lose interest in someone you love after a month. He may be sweet and all of that, but he apparently isn’t the guy for you. Why would you think something is broken in you if you’ve had prior bfs and this is the first time this has happened? And no, you don’t love him. This was just a brief infatuation, which has run its course. Time to MOA.

“How can i tell if what i’m feeling for him is truly love or something else?”

I have struggled with intrusive thoughts, and to make matters murkier I don’t always experience emotions the same way other people do. For me, that meant I had no way of truly “knowing” if I was “in love” once the honeymoon phased ended and the giddy feelings subsided. It bothered me a lot – what if I was trapping my partner in a loveless relationship under false pretense? Was I some horrible person who didn’t reciprocate even though he was very deserving of love and all good things?

I don’t know if that is what is happening to you. You said you never experienced this before, but then again I didn’t experience this in every relationship either. Maybe you fell out of love (or were never in it), maybe you didn’t. Either is possible. It is normal for those high feelings to fade, and it is normal to be irritated at your partner at times (love is not a magical cure for minor annoyances).

For me, I had to stop obsessing over the inner question of “IS IT TRUE LOVE” or not. Instead, I learned to ask myself – Do I want to be here? Do I enjoy being here? Are we both here voluntarily, with mutual consent, of our own accord? If I removed all personal doubts about love, would this be a pleasant experience that I want to remain in? Those questions were easier for me to answer than trying to define and prove something as nebulous as love. I also benefited from reminding myself that my partner was a whole person with full agency to leave if they felt the relationship wasn’t reciprocal or fair or enjoyable. I had to stop making it about “love” and make it more about the experience, which ironically, is what love is all about.

Funny enough, if you ask me now, I know beyond a shred of any doubt that what I feel is love, and I experience it with all the warmth and happiness that others describe. But it is very different from that initial rush, and was hard for me to understand at first. I guess the question to ask yourself is, if you stopped worrying about this, what’s left? Are you still enjoying your mutual time with another person in the context of being in a relationship together? Or is it more of a drag?