Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I don’t know what to do…

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by avatar Logan 3 weeks, 6 days ago.

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  • #843590 Reply
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    Arrington G

    So I have this friend and i’ve been friends with her for over ten years now. which is why this is really hard for me. recently i’ve been spiraling out of control it feels like. like i don’t really know what to do with my life and my path that i had carved out for myself is unclear. i feel like all my friends are drifting away and joining other groups and everyone is moving on and improving their lives and i’m just stuck. and about my friend that I’ve had since Pre-K, i feel like i’m always in her shadow. like i can’t really get to my full potential with her around.last night we went to a party and the guy i kind of liked was there and she hyped me up like “yea go for it. go get him.” and i tried but she was literally all over him the entire night and she has a boyfriend too. i’m not a shy person but her personality definitely overpowers mine. the summer is coming up and she wants to hang and stuff, but I think that if i really am gonna be able to improve my self, i need to take a step back from her, at least for the summer. should i do this and if so how do i tell her? sorry for how long this is but i wanted to give the backstory.

    #843607 Reply
    FireStar
    FireStar
    Participant

    Why do you have to tell her? Just do the things you want to do. See her when you want to. The only way to be in someone’s shadow is to place yourself there. Go live the life you want. No one is stopping you

    #843620 Reply

    Yeah, you shouldn’t tell her you’re taking a step back, just do it if that’s how you feel.

    You can tell her you didn’t think it was cool that she was all over the guy you like last night. Or you don’t have to. But taking a step back is not out of the ordinary after something like that.

    #843624 Reply
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    MaltaKano

    Arghhh I’m so triggered – my bff would do this exact thing: notice I was clicking with a guy at a party/bar and immediately place herself in front of him the whole night. She always had a boyfriend. What IS that? Distance was the only thing that helped — LW, go for it. Just back away slowly and start branching out. Maybe identify a few activities you really like doing with her and keep your interactions limited to those things. If you want to maintain that the friendship, you can find ways to communicate to her what you value about your relationship. But give yourself the space to grow and come into your own.

    #843816 Reply
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    Logan

    you need some alone time, also go on a vacation by yourself too, will make you feel better.

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