Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I feel like garbage

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by bittergaymark Bittergaymark 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #838126 Reply
    The world is dying

    The Context:
    I am a nerd
    The guy is also a nerd
    The girl is sort of a nerd
    The Situation:
    I like a guy
    He likes a girl who doesn’t like him
    But he really really likes her and he’s not giving up on her anytime soon
    I can’t tell him how I feel because:
    I’m scared
    He’ll hate me for complicating stuff
    He won’t return the feelings
    And it’s kinda depressing me.
    Any advice?? 😂😂

    #838131 Reply

    How old are the three of you. I pursued an unavailable girl in H.S., I now think I clung to this pursuit as much out of not really being ready for a relationship as out of stubbornness. She was quite impressive, but I knew after the second month that she wasn’t allowed to date gentiles and still gauged potential dates with available girls by how I thought of her.

    #838132 Reply
    The world is dying

    We’re in year 11 (senior year if you’re American)

    #838134 Reply

    Distract yourself with other pursuits, friends, hobbies and schoolwork. You know he likes the other girl. I think you know he doesn’t like you the same way you like him, and even if he agreed to date you (or …whatever it is the kids do these days) you know he likes her and you’d probably not feel great about that.

    I mean, you could tell him, but the odds are it wouldn’t help, if he’s your friend he’s probably picked up on your feelings (maybe)-either way, I trust your instinct that he’s not into you that way. If it goes not well, you’ll feel worse.

    We can’t control who we have feelings for, but we can control how we react to those feelings. Good luck.

    #838141 Reply

    God, I feel like I was the guy in this scenario in high school – hopelessly pining after a girl so bad but never really saying how I felt. I passed on a few girls who were interested in me (ok, not that many) because I was so hopeless over this girl, who I never really thought I actually had a real chance with. I’d like to go back in time and kick my ass sometimes.

    So then, my advice to you, kind of knowing the mental state this guy is in, is to listen to @anonymousse. He’s probably not ready to think about being with anyone else. It’s not you, it’s him. He’ll probably look back in several years and think “damn! what was I thinking!” but that’s on you.

    The only caveat is if your feelings for him are killing you and you can’t imagine staying friends without getting them out there. If that’s the case, just get it over but temper your expectations.

    #842287 Reply
    The world is dying

    Well now its just a mess. I was a fool.

    #842289 Reply

    Wasn’t this the plot of Some Kind Of Wonderful? Wait, no. No, The Girl was super popular in that one. Anyway, do NOT watch that movie as it will only give you false hope. Instead — stop wasting your time on somebody unavailable. We’ve all done that, sure. And now we all tell you it’s a HUGE waste of time. Listen to us! 🙂

    #842291 Reply

    What did you do and what happened. Sort of a strange response over 5 weeks later.

    #842292 Reply

    I suspect she told him and it didn’t quite go like it does in the movies…

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