Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I feel like my close friend is pushing me out of her life

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  • #1002016 Reply

    I say this with lots of love and a big hug, but no one — especially not a friend of less than four months — should be going to your individual therapy appointments with you. I mean, if she wanted to give you a ride and wait outside, that’s fine, but if you’re talking about her being in the room with you, no. No. No. Not cool. It’s unprofessional of your therapist to have allowed that, because it violates a LOT of boundaries.

    That friend insisted on going to your sessions with you, even when you told her it wasn’t necessary, is — dude. That’s so not cool. Both friend and therapist are way in the wrong on that, you should know. Wow.

    #1002133 Reply

    When you said she went with you to your therapy appointments, I hope what you mean is she accompanied you to the office and waited outside or in the lobby until it was finished. Even that’s kind of intense, for four months of friendship.

    If she went into your session and participated or listened, that is highly unethical and you need a new therapist, ’cause this ones faulty.

    I’m very sorry you are hurting about the loss/distancing of this friendship, but honestly it does sound kind of unhealthy, and probably for the best that things cool down.

    #1002778 Reply

    I never sent rapid texts as when I saw her read the texts and not respond for a while after I left it and messaged her a couple days or the next week to say hi.

    So, it’s good you’re not blowing up her phone, but this isn’t great, either. Most people will miss texts here and there or forget to respond. When this happens more than a couple times, that person is sending you a message. She’s not interested in texting nonstop and that level of closeness that you’re looking for.

    some of you mentioned my mental breakdown being a factor which if it was then she never told me she felt uncomfortable with being my friend because of it

    Most people aren’t going to come out and tell their friend who struggles with mental health, “Hey! Your mental health issues are too much for me and scare me! They make me feel uncomfortable and I don’t want to be your friend!” Most people, when trying to end a friendship, will try fading away slowly instead of saying something blunt and hurtful.

    Lastly, friends CAN be needy.

    Anyway, like many of us have said, this is all speculation. Nobody knows why she’s acting the way she is. You keep shooting down everyone’s theories, so I’m not sure why you asked. But none of our theories (or even your own) matter. All that matters is that you back off and give her space because that’s what her actions are telling you she’s asking for.

    It’s okay to feel sad about it and grieve if you need to. We all go through friend breakups and they can be just as painful as real breakups!

Viewing 3 posts - 13 through 15 (of 15 total)
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