Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I feel to contact my ex

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  • This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by avatarEssie.
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  • #843497 Reply

    Sorry for posting too much.
    I broke up with my ex 4 months ago. We were highly incompatible and he never treated me right. I was always weak and needy towards him, but I was the one who broke up because of too much suffering.
    Few days ago he contacted me and wanted to get back together but I refused him. I still revealed my feelings somehow. He seemed very superficial and unaffected.
    I blocked him all over. Now I feel like contacting him, just to receive an assurance that he still cares or to simply tell him how much I miss him(although he probably already knows it). I feel to do that for my inner peace.
    What’s better: to show your feelings in front of someone just for your inner peace, or to keep silent and go on but have no peace at all? Thank you

    #843499 Reply

    “I still revealed my feelings somehow. He seemed very superficial and unaffected.”

    I mean, you already did, and you got a bad result. Don’t keep doing the thing that gets you a bad result. Keep him blocked, and have no contact for 60 days. That’s what you’re supposed to do. You’re not going to get over someone if you keep unblocking and reaching out to them to try to get some kind of validation that they can’t give you and will never give you.

    #843508 Reply

    Telling him your feelings again is not going to give you peace. Blocking, ignoring him and distracting yourself from the person who treated you like shit will give you peace. It takes time. And it takes self control and doing things you know are good for you, and avoiding the impulse when you feel like reaching out to him.

    #843524 Reply

    You have to find the peace and strength inside yourself. No one can give you peace.

    And humiliating yourself by begging this man to love you isn’t going to make you feel better. You’ll just feel sad and embarrassed, and he still won’t love you.

    He contacted you because he knows you love him and he figures he can talk you into having sex with him.

    Nothing you can say to him will make him love you or treat you right. You’ve tried. He doesn’t care. He’s never going to. Block him, everywhere, and take some time off from dating until you feel stronger. You say you were weak and needy with him, and when you’re weak and needy you don’t have good relationships. You get taken advantage of by people who want to use you.

    Find your strength. It’s in there.

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