Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I hate my closest friends boyfriend

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This topic contains 27 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar CET 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #827584 Reply
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    Bad friend

    Ok mind you I am in highschool, which makes matters sooo so so much worse. So basically one of my closest friends has just started dating this guy and he is alright. he treats my friend alright (Even tho it is only a highschool relationship) but him and I are just totally different people and he is so annoying and just makes me want to throttle him. Whats worse is that instead of just chilling in his own social circle (which is at the very bottom of the fish barrel) and catching up with my friend in their own time, he sits with us AND brings all his annoying friends as well.

    Now I haven;t said anything just yet, but I have told this girl about how I feel slightly uncomfortable but I don’t think she understands. I hate sitting in big groups and much rather sitting in a small group of just my closest friends and now I am in this massive group filled with all these people who I don’t know and get along with and I feel like I am prevented from chatting with my close friends. To make matters worse, popular people (who I know I shouldn;t care about but I do have them in my classes etc) are judging me because theyyy are sitting with me and URGHHH.
    What should I do because he is just intolerable!!!

    #827589 Reply
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    Hannanas

    First off you should be happy for your friend that she has a nice boyfriend. Isn’t that just lovely for her? Secondly, stop concerning yourself with what others might think of you – even the supposed popular kids. Don’t spend your time categorizing everyone into ‘classes’ because you will miss out on some amazing people. And lastly, you’re still young, so you’re going to have to learn to get along with (or at least tolerate) those you don’t particularly love. We all have to. Who knows, you’ll make some new friends.
    Also, if you really miss your close circle of friends, why not meet up after school?

    #827593 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    You sound super jealous that your friend has a boyfriend and that she’s not there to give you the same amount of attention that she used to give you.

    Be happy for your friend. Let her enjoy this.

    As for the others – if these are the nerds and dorks – these are the guys that are likely going places in life. It seems crazy now, but these are the guys that you will be searching for when you’re in your late 20’s and 30’s. Don’t be a bitch.

    #827596 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    She’s in HS, it’ll last like 2 weeks. Oh and it doesn’t make it SOOOOO much worse because you are in HS, it just makes you feel like it is so much worse because at that age emotions feel so intense.

    You will spend the rest of your life not liking certain people. Grow up and learn to deal with it. People find you annoying too, but are polite about it, so you be polite too.

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by avatar JD.
    #827599 Reply
    Lucidity
    Lucidity

    You could ditch your friend and her “bottom of the barrel” boyfriend and his friends and improve your social standing by making friends with cooler, popular people.

    Or you could try to better explain to your friend that you don’t like her boyfriend and his friends because you find them annoying and see them as beneath you, and watch her pull back from your friendship as she realizes you’re a shallow person.

    Or you could use this as an opportunity to learn some life lessons about supporting people you care about, choosing kindness over nastiness, and seeing the human beings underneath the judgements and labels. Your friend must like these people for a reason. Try to see what she sees. If you don’t like big groups, focus on just the people sitting beside and across from you. You might make some great friends if you just open up your heart and mind a bit. And if popular people are judging you for who you socialize with, they’re trash whose opinions shouldn’t count for anything.

    #828363 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    I have a feeling that if the friend started dating a popular boy, and said boy brought a crowd of popular friends with him… there would be fewer complaints.

    #828364 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    That was my thought. But the cool kids won’t think I am cool. Let me tell you LW about the “cool” kids. Fast forward to their 30’s, they still all hang out, work at the local Red Robin or the likes, still live in their past “glory days” and can’t find happiness in their life now because “those were the days”. I barely even remember HS.

    Of course, not every one, but good lord, you should’ve seen my HS reunion. It made me damn happy not to be part of that group. They are all doing the exact same thing they were doing in HS. I truly am not bitter, I had a very small class, only 100, and we were all friends, no one was excluded, they were all very nice, but there were for sure the more “cool” people, I suppose I was in the middle. I wish them nothing but happiness but I would not want to still be in the same town, with all the same people, living the same life I did in HS.

    #828367 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    “Oh, Heather… Why can’t you just be a friend? Why are you such a megabitch?!”

    #828384 Reply
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    PurpleStar

    @bittergaymark – thank you for this. To bad the LW will never get the reference and buy herself a nice monochromatic outfit.

    #828388 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    LW, you sound like a shallow, tedious jerk. Your friend isn’t in a relationship at you. You really have no business telling your friend or her boyfriend that he and his friends can’t sit with your group. So what you should do is be a good friend. Maybe try to get to know her boyfriend instead of being so dismissive. (You say he’s annoying but list zero qualities that make him annoying, other than being a “bottom of the barrel” pick.) If you prefer sitting in smaller groups, go find a smaller group to sit with. Your friend will pull away if you continue to act like such a B about her boyfriend, so you may find yourself with a smaller group of friends against your will soon enough!

    #828395 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    *It is a slight misquote. As its lines from two different scenes…

    #828430 Reply
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    Hannanas

    Kinda surprised at the rudeness of some responses. This is a teenager.

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