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Dear Wendy

I have a crush on gym employee

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  • #863606 Reply
    avatarLondyn
    Guest

    So there is This girl at my gym she is absolutely beautiful and I would like to get to know her. But Idk how to spark a conversation. She also seems busy. I asked her to give me a tour she kept getting really close to me while she was talking. I did now I need another excuse to talk to her and introduce my self so I know her name. What should I say?

    •compliment her smile and introduce
    •thank her for giving me a tour and introduce
    •ask a question and introduce
    •other introduce

    #863610 Reply
    avatardogmom
    Guest

    I work in the fitness industry. People who work in gyms get hit on ALL THE TIME. I guarantee you’re reading too much into her staying close to you while giving you a tour, because gyms are noisy and you need to be able to have a conversation, which means walking next to each other. Also, she seems busy because she IS busy — she’s giving tours, answering the phone, checking people in, remewing memberships and signing people up, cleaning, making smoothies, doing whatever else is on her checklist. She is at WORK. Don’t hit on somebody while they’re working. It’s uncomfortable, and it puts her in an awkward situation. I’m not saying you can’t talk to her, but seriously, don’t “compliment her smile” or otherwise make things weird.

    #863618 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    DO NOT HIT ON WOMEN (or men) AT THEIR JOBS. She is working and it’s her job to be friendly to you. Find one of the billions of women who do not work at your gym.

    #863631 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    No, no, no. Never, ever hit on a woman at their job. It’s rude, obnoxious, and puts her in an awkward position. Find someone else to ask out.

    #863647 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    My answer was more gender-specific than it should’ve been. No one should hit on anyone at their job, regardless of gender.

    People often mistake “I have to be nice to the customer” pleasantries for romantic interest. It’s her job to make customers feel welcome. And standing close to you means nothing in this context. If you’re in a club and a woman keeps getting really close to you, it might mean she’s interested, because you can reasonably make the assumption that she’s there to meet people.

    The woman at the gym is working. She’s not there to find a boyfriend. And what dogmom said is right: you’d probably be the eighth person to hit on her that day.

    #863705 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Agree, do not hit on anyone who’s working. They’re a captive audience, have to be nice to you, and it’s not fair.

    Everyone has a crush on the gym employees or trainers. Everyone. Forget it. If she wants to meet people for dating, she has an online dating profile, and you can match with her online if she’s looking to meet people who fit your general description.

    A couple years ago my brother started going to the Y for training sessions that my parents were paying for. He’s about double what would be considered a healthy weight for his height and doesn’t get any exercise in his normal routine, so this was great. Except he got a crush on his trainer. He told my parents and said he was thinking of asking her out. They said absolutely don’t do that. So he lost interest and stopped going. Ugh.

    Use the gym for training, and use dating sites and apps, as well as bars, clubs, and meetups to meet people to date.

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