Home › Forums › Advice & Chat › I have a MAJOR crush on my married boss!
- This topic has 1,404 replies, 69 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 1 month ago by Sarah.
So I know you don’t want a boyfriend who’s a married, cheating, Golden Corral manager who’s always got his eye on the young buffet staff ladies. You cannot want that to be your life. Nor do you want to be the loser who had a fling with her married boss at Golden Corral and always feel kinda creepy and guilty about it. There is no good outcome here, just keep reminding yourself of that. Even if hell froze over and he left his wife, he’d still be that guy who left his wife for a Golden Corral waitress and would most likely do the same to you. Think about your life and your choices.CaptainswifeGuest
The thing is, Sarah, you say in your original letter that
“I really want to stop but I don’t know how. I mean he is my MARRIED BOSS!!!! I really wish something could happen but at the same time I know I would feel a little guilty if I was the cause of it or if it didn’t work out.”
Then your subsequent updates say,
“I know anything could happen there’s no doubt about that” and “I’m definitely not gonna try anything. But I can still look.”
So… you “want to get over it” but you also want to look and fantasize about his marriage’s falling apart? Honey, this is serious wanting to have your cake and eat it, too.
The responders are giving you advice on your original question…how to move past it…but you are busy refusing their advice right, left, and center.
What was your point in writing, exactly? Why should people bother to spend their time giving you advice that you clearly have no interest in taking?
This is really the essence of immaturity in my mind: asking someone for advice and then refusing to consider it thoughtfully. Not saying anyone is required to take any advice all the time…but you clearly don’t want to hear what YOU HAVE ASKED US FOR.
And @Kate? Spot on. Well said.
Yes to both Captainswife and Kate. I agree with you both.TheRascalMember
Agree with the other posters. It seems like you are inviting drama into your life. So if you REALLY want to not think about him? You could quit your job and try to find work somewhere else.Sarah BGuest
I know && understand what you all are saying.. But it doesn’t mean I have to agree with it. And I’m not immature I just have my head in the clouds for the moment. I’m not trying to get with him I’m just saying I think of him is all.Sarah BGuest
And @captainswife I don’t fantasize about his marriage falling apart. I just fantasize about him bc he’s sexy to me, fun to work with, and nice.. That’s all. No need to get rude about it. I did ask for advice but not for ppl like you to be nasty about it k thanks. Please don’t say nothing if you have nothing nice to say!
The thing is no one is going to give you the advice you want to hear, which is sure this might happen. Thinking that someone might tell you that is really entertaining some fantasies.
You are inviting serious drama in your life if you were to sleep with your boss who is married. For one you’d probably lose your job at some point, or make things extremely awkward for yourself. Two he’s probably not going to leave her for you, even if you do sleep together. And if he does like Kate said I’m going to bet you’re not the first one, just another employee he’s slept with, you wouldn’t be special at all. Where does that leave you? Feeling crappy about yourself and jobless, probably without a reference. Thinking about him and keeping your head in the clouds is being immature. Listening to advice about how keeping your head in the clouds is no good for you would be the smart thing to do here.Sarah BGuest
And Kate no one said he would do the same to me.. I meant if their marriage didn’t work out not that he would leave me for his wife. And be a loser? So you don’t think managers ever have a thing with their coworkers? Listen to what you ppl are actually saying here.Sarah BGuest
I never said I was gonna sleep with him if he’s married so let’s just get that straight right now. And second of all keeping my head in the clouds isn’t immature bc I’m not planning on doing anything about it. I just like to think of what might happen if they didn’t work out. I am taking everything you all are saying in consideration but I am smart enough to know what ppl are being total assholes about it too. I know what the right thing is to do. Thanks all
If you know what the right thing is why write in? I mean you asked for advice and then told everyone they were wrong when you read it. And now you say you know what to do.
And sorry but keeping your heads in the cloud and responses like yours are immature. You don’t like what you’re hearing so you’re telling everyone they’re mean. Maybe try actually listening. People here aren’t assholes. They are just giving advice that you asked for.Sarah BGuest
Sure sounds mean to me. Its one thing to give advice its another to just be rude about it like I said.. And yes I asked for advice and now I know what to do thanks like I said.KateGuest
Ok, then definitely keep that job, closely monitor the state of your boss’s marriage over the coming months or years, and keep the dream alive of what could happen if it doesn’t work out with them.