Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

“I Ignored Red Flags”

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Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 24 total)
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  • #992223 Reply
    avatarGuest
    Guest

    This mess of stringing me along for 8 months while disrespecting me and continuing to call me while he’s in a relationship. (Didn’t answer any of his calls/texts btw)

    #992237 Reply
    avatarGuest
    Guest

    It’s not that I’m letting religion guide my judgement but i tend to hold Christ followers at a higher standard just because there supposed to be examples of Christ so when someone that is supposed to be an example of Christ does something out of pocket I kind of you know don’t believe it. But that’s a lesson i learned.

    #992245 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    “ This mess of stringing me along for 8 months while disrespecting me and continuing to call me while he’s in a relationship.”

    Unfortunately a lot of guys do stuff like this. And the more you allow it, by continuing to engage with them, the worse they’re going to treat you. Don’t accept bad behavior. Disengage. Move on. A guy who treats you badly early on is only going to get worse.

    #992246 Reply
    avatarKarebear1813
    Participant

    There is no mess, there is no disrespecting you. You are confused about what “this” is which it is nothing more than perhaps a long distance friendship. It is okay to be friends with someone you once had romantic feelings with btw. Talking to multiple girls with no commitment isn’t being a “player”. He isn’t exclusive to you and hasn’t been by what you have wrote in. He is a young adult who is doing what most young adults do, work and has an active social life. IF you think this friendship is one sided than guess what, you have all the control to end this by blocking this person out of your life. You don’t need to worry about his girlfriend or what he is doing. You don’t actually know what type of relationship he is in.
    This guy lives out of state and for all you know this person could be catfishing you. You don’t know this person at all until you have met them in person. I hope you are practicing responsible and safe practices whilst making friends online.

    #992249 Reply
    avatarGuest
    Guest

    Okay thank you! Should i block him on all platforms?

    #992253 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Yes, you block him on all platforms. Don’t check up on him either.

    #992263 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    Block on all platforms. Definitely

    #992268 Reply
    avatarGuest
    Guest

    Okay it’ll be difficult to not check up on him😭 but okay I will I thank you guys so much!

    #992345 Reply
    avatarCathy
    Guest

    Do one thing.

    Drop him now.

    He has made it clear he has a GF. Why are you blind to this? No discussion. Block him. And grow some self respect.

    #992355 Reply
    avatarGuest
    Guest

    I don’t know why either. Probably because he still called me while having a girlfriend. And I don’t know i just feel curious.you are right i do need grow some self respect for myself.

    #992749 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Listen, plenty of guys will go just as far as you let them while they have a girlfriend. It means nothing. They’ll talk to you / kiss you / have sex with you, meanwhile getting engaged and moving in with their fiancée! This should not shock you. You’re 16, but now is the time to learn these things.

    Now, that said, this guy never declared himself to be more than a friend, right? So why shouldn’t he keep talking to friends when he has a girlfriend? That’s not wrong. It gets a bit sketchy if he got flirty or sexual with you and is keeping that going while in a relationship, but I can’t tell if that’s the case or not. Either way: He is 100% not interested in being your boyfriend after 8 months of talking. And he never will be. It’s long-distance. The chemistry isn’t there for him. Plus, he’s a jerk to you by your own assessment. You can let go of your curiosity. You have your answer.

    Block. Delete. Find someone else to talk to. Preferably a guy who lives near you if what you want is a boyfriend.

    #992769 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    You’re on the young side but this is a good lesson that there are a lot of people who are just not that great. They’re not evil. They’re not saints. And I’m sure you can find plenty of examples of people who hid behind their faith while committing terrible acts.

    That said – if someone is being cruel, disrespectful, condescending, or rude – you don’t have to give them chance after chance after chance. Even if they are nice for a little bit – you decide what your boundary is and what is acceptable to you. It’s hard to walk away from someone who makes you feel loved, but you have to remember that this guy also made you feel like dirt.

    Take some time for yourself – you’ll be OK.

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