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Dear Wendy

I ignored them

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  • #963142 Reply

    I have this friend which I always talk to everyday but mostly I always need to understand her. So I was in my darkest times and I told her my problems. You know what she said? “I’m sleepy. What’s the next subject?” She also said to stop crying but in a sarcastic way. And so, ever since that, I had a grunge on her. I ignored her messages and she asked my other friend that she wants us to be friends again but I don’t know what to do whether talk to her or just keep ignoring her. I know it’s best for us to talk because I cannot just keep running away from her. I wanna be serious to her and say what’s wrong with her. I sometimes I ask what are her problems but she wouldn’t even tell me one instead she said it to her online friend. That’s when I realized she doesn’t trust me and I wouldn’t trust her too anymore.

    Because of that I also ended up ignoring my online friend because of my selfishness. Which is a very bad thing. Because that person is really special to me. Every person was once special to me once I realized they don’t deserve it. I think it’s my bad too because, I always say problems with a laugh, that’s why they doesn’t notice I’m serious.

    How do I talk to my friend who I ignored and explain why I ignored her. I don’t have the guts to explain myself why ignored her because I know it’s a very serious matter for me while to her it’s just me being dramatic.

    How do I removed to the mind of my online friend that I ignore people just because of my selfishness. I showed him my dramatic side which I don’t want to show. How do I make him think that I’m not immature.

    #963147 Reply

    So… you want to smooth things over with your friend, why? It doesn’t sound like you two are very good friends. She’s not interested in hearing about your problems and doesn’t trust you with hers. I don’t think there’s any point to talking to her about this. You might want to just start talking to her again without trying to explain anything, because your friendship is kind of at a superficial level anyway, so I’m not sure what benefit you’ll get out of telling her your feelings were hurt when she dismissed your problems you were trying to talk about. Like just text her “hi, what’s up” or whatever, and see what happens. Same with your online friend. If they ask you why you ignored them, you can say you were just dealing with some stuff, going through a bad time and you’re sorry.

    #963149 Reply

    It’s hard to understand the difference between your one friend and the other online friend. Is this one person, or two? They both think you’re dramatic all the time and they don’t seem to care about your problems? But you also don’t seem to care, because you tell them like a joke? I don’t totally understand the issue other than it sounds like you need to be more clear when you are asking for sympathy, help or advice. Don’t make light of everything if you want people to take you seriously.

    It sounds like these friends aren’t really that great or even very friend-like, so maybe you should keep ignoring them? Or reach out like Kate said.

    #963284 Reply

    I completely agree with Kate. You two don’t sound like you are really good friends and it sounds like she does not really care about you or your problems. Real friends would recognize it if you were talking about your issues, even if you talk about them with a smile (talking out of experience, I do the same thing hahah). I would take a minute and think about whether you want to continue this friendship with her or if it is worth saving. Or, as kate said, reach out and see what happens.

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