Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I keep cancelling on him.

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice I keep cancelling on him.

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  • #855261 Reply
    avatarDaisy
    Guest

    I have known this man for a few years. We have dated in the past but I called it a day because he was so busy with work as he’s a self employed personal trainer. I would only get a couple of hours here and there. We always kept in touch because, he’s a lovely man and we have lots in common. He has reassured me that his work commitments have calmed down now and has asked me out on numerous occasions which at the time I agree to and I want to meet him as I am interested in him, but I cancel at the last minute. My nerves take over as I can’t see why he would like me, I’m not sporty, I’m more on the “chubby” side, so I feel self conscious as he’s a personal trainer. Why does he keep asking me out though if I’ve cancelled so many times? Should I be honest with him and say I feel anxious around that he won’t like my body? Obviously he has seen me with clothes on and he has complimented my figure. What should I do?

    #855265 Reply
    avatarbrise
    Guest

    He keeps asking you out because he can feel your ambivalence. He likes you or he wouldn’t try persistently. Give a try, stop projecting so much. When you will be confronted to the reality of dating him, you will be able to see wether it is good for you.

    #855269 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Personally, I think your gut is telling you something.

    #855276 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    I think that on some level you resent that he didn’t make time for you and you’re trying to assert the same power dynamic against him. You want to show that you’re the important person in the relationship who can’t make time.

    #855361 Reply
    avatardinoceros
    Member

    I think that you need to either make the decision to not cancel anymore or to stop making plans. If you truly feel that your body image is preventing you from dating, you may want to look into therapy to address that.

    #855455 Reply

    He knows what your body is like. He still asks you out. It isn’t a problem for him.

    Now, you need to ask yourself if that was really the problem, or if you have some other reason why you’re hesitant.

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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