Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I know I’m going to get beaten up, what do I do!?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice I know I’m going to get beaten up, what do I do!?

  • This topic has 29 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 2 months ago by Fyodor.
Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 30 total)
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  • #1034986 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yeah let’s not condescend to people what they’re justified in being upset about. Of course violence isn’t justified but that’s a separate issue. Also, we all know that alcohol can affect different people in different ways and result in behavior that’s out of character. That’s great if you’ve never done anything antisocial or questionable while drunk, really, that’s commendable, but many people have. Young people have a responsibility to figure out their limits and moderate their drinking. Or if they find they can’t, to seek help.

    #1034988 Reply
    Hazel
    Participant

    ah sorry, genuinely didn’t mean to be condescending, I live somewhere where many young lives are wrecked including friends of mine who didn’t live to see their 20’s. Because alcohol is the legal drug , where I live, people regularly abuse it in various ways, especially when young and unused to the effects — perhaps this is not the case for the LW, but I still advise not going out if you feel violence may be inevitable.It can and does go horribly wrong.

    #1034989 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Not you, Hazel!

    #1034991 Reply
    Bittergaymark
    Guest

    I don’t think I’m being condescending. The LW seems to somehow think that just being drunk is a blanket everybody-does-it excuse for assaulting somebody. It’s not. That NOT what “normally” happens. At all. And if one does so and it literally results with people left with bumps on the head, well yeah, I believe they have a drinking problem.

    #1034992 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I don’t get that at all from her original post. She regrets it and knows it shouldn’t have happened.

    And I mean, things like this do happen, and you learn from them.

    #1034995 Reply
    Bittergaymark
    Guest

    I don’t think she has learned from it. At all. Oh, sure… She is VERY worried about getting beat up. But I don’t read much concern or regret about starting the fight in the first place. She also doesn’t see her drinking as a problem either. Heck, her biggest concern right now is how she is too scared to go out to pubs?

    🤷‍♂️

    #1034996 Reply
    Bittergaymark
    Guest

    She literally says: “I… have the tendency to go a bit crazy after a drink + adrenaline.”

    That’s normalizing her own bad behavior.

    #1034997 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    “I regret it so much, I should of never hit her or even approached her but I guess I was drunk and being an arsehole.”

    Anyway, my point was that people are telling her what she should and shouldn’t be upset about and saying that because they personally never fought when drunk that it’s totally not normal.

    #1034998 Reply
    Bittergaymark
    Guest

    Okay… Well, I remain rather surprised that people saying “hey, its not normal to drunkenly beat up somebody who slept with ones ex” is suddenly a controversial statement round here.

    🤷‍♂️

    And I don’t think it’s normal to get into drunken brawls at pubs. I just don’t. It certainly isn’t legal.

    #1035003 Reply
    FYI
    Guest

    She said she “goes crazy” when she drinks, which apparently involves hitting people. She said “going crazy” is a tendency she has, and she also said she’s not going to stay home just because of what happened. (!) The other person has an actual lump on her head.

    That’s assault, no matter how LW feels about it, and it’s not normal.

    #1035012 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    It’s not that abnormal to me. I mean it is now, but thinking back to being really young (and drinking age in UK is 18), a lot of people did act crazy when drinking, in all sorts of ways including fighting. You have to recognize what your problem behavior is and figure out your limits.

    But my comment was more directed toward the idea of telling her what she should and shouldn’t even be upset about. That’s condescending.

    #1035013 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Also, I used to fight and hit people when sober, but would never touch someone now.

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