Home › Forums › Advice & Chat › I M(23) am seeing a F(22) and am not sure how to move forward
- This topic has 2 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 1 month, 2 weeks ago by Dear Wendy.
I’ve been talking/hanging out with this girl for about 2 months now. We’ve hung out 5 times and I haven’t been able to make a move. I’m still a virgin and am super nervous in the moment. There’s been plenty of opportunities and the vibe is there but I can’t make the move. Also I’m not a big texter so we only talk every 2-3 days and our conversations are pretty short. Sometimes we’ll have a longer conversation over text but it’s pretty rare. Mostly when I message her it’s to hang out but I have recently been trying to message her more.
I tried to make plans with her last week but unfortunately we were both busy but she told me she would love to after her trip.
I want to make plans with her this weekend since she’s coming back from a trip and I want to see her again before Valentine’s Day. Ideally if we link before valentines we could make plans for valentines. I don’t want to jump straight to asking her to do something for Valentine’s because I think it might be a little weird considering I haven’t even kissed her yet. I texted her Tuesday and this was the exchange. She has always responded well to gifs especially of Kermit so I thought this would work.
She didn’t reply but I don’t think it’s a big deal because she’s on a trip with her friends and I didn’t really move the conversation forward with my message. But I want to know if I should push for plans this weekend. I do want to see her and want to be persistent but I don’t want to come off as pushy or desperate.
Should I ask her again on Saturday/Sunday if she’s doing anything/feeling spontaneous. She’s a very attractive girl and if I don’t make a move someone else will. Lastly, if this weekend doesn’t work out should I directly ask her to be my valentines/do something on Valentine’s Day?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.peggyGuest
If you want to date her,ask her on a proper date. This “maybe I could see you later at the beach,the coffee place,the moon,if the tide is right and I you are not busy,even thou asked you at the last minute is lame.
She likely is unclear as to your intentions because you seem to be wishy washy and unsure of yourself. So she replies to your lame efforts in kind.
If you are really interested in dating her, call or text her with a day,time and place for a real date. Dinner,stroll at a museum and wine/drinks after,etc. Kiss her goodnight. The ask her out again after that if you had a good time. She will say yes…yay for you or no thanks and you can move on. Easy peasy.
Also you are coming off as maybe more interested in losing your virginity than her as a person. She may sense that and it is a turn off. Aks her out properly,date her at a pace comfortable or both of you,with no agenda-like losing your virginity,sex-as a goal.Dear WendyKeymaster
Be assertive and just ask her out on a proper date already. Enough with the kermit gifs when what you really want is to know whether she’d like to go on a date with you. Ask her out for this weekend. Pick an activity and a time: “Are you free Saturday evening for dinner at whatever? And I thought afterward, if it’s warm enough, we could stroll along the whatever boulevard and get hot chocolate/ a drink at whatever place.” If she’s available and the date does well (kiss her!), you could ask if she’d like to do something on Valentine’s Day. If she’s not available, I’d ask about the following weekend and just ignore Valentine’s Day. Please do not send like a cupid kermit gif or whatever.