I meet my soulmate but my family doesn’t want to see it this way

[Sofia]

I’m 23

[Kate]

This stopped making sense, but the right thing to do is to encourage him to go to Nigeria to follow his dream and grab this once in a lifetime opportunity that’s patiently waiting for him there. Do long-distance and see if your soulmate bond is truly there. Visit him. Let him visit you. Watch, does he talk about his next visit, and plan it, and does it actually happen. Does he act like a human being around your family. After a year and a half, assess whether you’re ready to take the next step, get engaged and maybe move to Europe.

If he chooses instead to stay in Dubai, watch. Does he have gainful long-term employment with progression opportunity? Can he hold a job? Can he visit a restaurant without freaking out at the staff? Can he be a part of your life that includes spending time with your family on good terms? Are you happy more than 80% of the time with him? Does he cause you stress or is he a calming influence? Pay attention to all of this over the next year and a half and then assess.

[Kate]

Also, maybe this is just me being a cynical biased American, but a once in a lifetime opportunity coming out of Nigeria sounds like a scam. What’s the job? What job does he do now?

[LisforLeslie]

@Kate – I figured it was likely an energy company.

[anonymousse]

If your mother, who married quickly is telling you to slow down, you should slow down. I have condiments in my refrigerator that I’ve had longer than you’ve known him, and they are not out of date! That should tell you that this is really, really fast.

Let him take this once in a lifetime opportunity in Nigeria. Do long distance. If you are truly soulmates, this time will be great to build your bond. Then, after he’s made it better with your family, you could get engaged with their blessing.

[Sofia]

Thank you Kate for this answer. I agree with all of what you’re saying. That’s what I’m actually doing, encouraging him to follow this opportunity and see where it takes him.
And to be honest with you, I’m more calm with him that I’ve never been in my entire life.
Feel appeased and at peace. Let’s hope for the best.

[Author]

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