Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I need help with changing my personality

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • #886094 Reply
    avatarescarchablanca
    Participant

    Hi, since this quarantine started my mental health have been a rollercoaster and good part of it is I had a bit of a falling off with my best friend who is also my roommate, I was too dependent on her and I decided I needed to distant my myself in order to heal, honestly I’m quite disappointed in her I’m staring to see the cracks in our relationship BUT what it’s really bothering me right now is that I have a big defect in my personality I don’t like when things things don’t go my way, and it’s hard for me to accept my friend and I are changing and taking different paths, I find myself annoyed and conflicted in part because being locked down forces me to be with her in the same space all the time. I need to learn how to accept situations when they don’t go my way, how to accept that people are their own person, don’t take me wrong I don’t go in life trying to change anything like with actions this is just internal monologue and rumination, I hurt myself with all of this how to say it? unflexibility Any Advice??? how can I change??

    #886160 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    Find a therapist. Use an app, like talkspace if you can’t speak to someone locally.

    #886188 Reply
    avatarron
    Guest

    From what you write, you decided you needed to be less dependent on your friend, and then just pulled away without any explanation to friend about why your behavior would change and what you were trying to accomplish and why. That’s not a cool way to treat your best friend. Therapy does seem appropriate — there is something a little ‘off’ about your post.

    #886289 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    Do something for someone else. Volunteer. Even with lockdown there are opportunities to help your community. Stop focusing on the things that aren’t going right for you and focus on making something right for someone else. Get out of your own head.

    #886305 Reply
    avatarescarchablanca
    Participant

    @ron Thanks for responding, Im currently doing therapy so I’m working on it but I wanted to get input by people who are outside of my circle of friends, what do you mean by off? that made feelr scared somehow, can you elaborate please?

    #886307 Reply
    avatarescarchablanca
    Participant

    @LisforLeslie I’ve been thinking in this idea and I think it’s a good one thank you

    #886309 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    You know what?

    NOBODY likes it when things don’t go their way.

    EVERYBODY finds it upsetting and disappointing when a friendship falls apart.

    EVERYBODY has moments where they forget that other people are their own person with their own feelings.

    That’s not a personality defect, that’s just normal human feelings. A normal reaction to disappointment.

    I think a lot of your problem is that you’re getting hung up on over-analyzing your own emotions and thoughts, looking for signs that something is wrong with you.

    That’s where a therapist can be really helpful, showing you how to manage those thoughts.

    Staying busy helps, too. Stop spending so much time in your own head. The suggestion to volunteer is a great one. Also, this is a good time to catch up on reading, binge that series you’ve been meaning to watch, maybe learn something new, like a craft.

    #886330 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    I agree that these feelings are normal to have. It’s just part of life. But it does seem like you’re very preoccupied with the current tension. If you want to make peace, I’d just be honest and try to be more forgiving of her, too. Everyone’s going through a bad time right now. Emotions are high. Stress is high. Take it easy and if you can volunteer or take up a new hobby or something, now is the time.

    #886331 Reply
    avatarescarchablanca
    Participant

    Thank you all of you, yes I think I might be looking for something wrong with me 🤔 I’ve to work on not overthinking as much

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