Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I never meant to hurt anyone :(

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Viewing 12 posts - 25 through 36 (of 37 total)
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  • #872948 Reply
    bittergaymarkBittergaymark
    Guest

    I wonder —- how many women have been sexually assaulted by “nice guys” they met at church… I suspect the tally is higher than one might imagine.

    #872949 Reply
    bittergaymarkBittergaymark
    Guest

    Meg. STOP. You seriously did Nothing wrong here. The guy was a cad.

    #872963 Reply
    avatarAnge
    Guest

    Indigo meeting anyone anywhere for any activity carries inherent risk. Even if you meet someone at church or the gym or a painting class.

    I wouldn’t be dragging on you if you weren’t so confident while being so out of touch.

    #872995 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    Indigo – From ages 8-11 I was molested by a neighbor who was a deacon in the church my mother attended. Your views on dating, life, & women are dead wrong. I’ll give you the grace of assuming you’re 15 years old. And quit the homophobia too. Not a good look

    #872997 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Ugh, I thought I deleted all the back and forth between Indigo and others – the posts that were just insults and not advice. I don’t want it to start back up today. Helen, I’m going to just lightly edit your post.

    #873017 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    I don’t think it’s wrong to meet and make friends on tinder. I meant, if guys are propositioning you for sex, those are probably not the pool you want to try to make friends from.

    This ex was the problem, Meg.

    1. He didn’t want to label it.
    2. He was spying on your social media.
    3. He was implying you can only be interested in other men for sex only.
    4. Then he broke up with you and blamed your behavior, when a simple conversation would have worked.
    5. He’s a liar. See above.

    Please, don’t waste one more minute wondering what you did wrong. He was just a jerk.

    #873024 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    My take on this is he was looking for an excuse to break up with you. Suddenly checking up on your social media from where – a fake account? Your phone? That sounds like HE was up to something shady and wanted to project it on you. Liars and cheaters do this.

    Look, not every guy might be comfortable with you maintaining contact with Tinder matches. It might look like keeping your options open. But a normal nice guy who’s in love with you would just ask you about it, discuss it with you, and you’d figure it out together. The fact that this guy suddenly went looking for trouble, found it, blamed you, discounted your feelings/intentions completely, and then broke up with you, means he was looking to get out anyway. He may have had something going on on the side himself.

    #873027 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    Thanks kate! I saw the gross stuff last night but didn’t feel like saying anything till this morning. Didn’t mean to bring up something that was supposed to be erased

    #873029 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    No, it’s fine, just wanted to clean this up before a new day started!

    #873236 Reply
    avatarcdobbs
    Guest

    you probably dodged a bullet if he was trying to control who you could be friends with….if he knew you were just friends with these guys, then that is his problem….i would move on….if he didn’t know you were just friends with those guys maybe reach out to him to try and explain that friendships are all they were

    #873709 Reply
    bagge72bagge72
    Participant

    How does somebody break up with you though if they weren’t even in a relationship? It sounds like this guy possibly used you more as a FWB than a GF. I say you are much better off, and if I were you I would block this guy from everything and just move on with you life.

    #873971 Reply
    avatarRava
    Guest

    Oh hell no. I haven’t even read the whole thread yet, just came here to say this: you did nothing wrong and I’m glad this guy is out of your life. I have never used Tinder but my friends have, and many of them have stayed in touch with the people they’ve met on Tinder. I cannot fathom how this is any different than staying in touch with, IDK, people you meet in a bar or at college who you feel a connection with. One of my friends is in a relationship but still regularly hangs out with the guy she met on Tinder before her current BF came along. They clicked, just not romantically. Her current BF is not all threatened by this. Why would he? And if he was… why would that automatically be HER problem?

    The main reason for your ex to break up with you is a bullshit one. He doesn’t get to decide who you are allowed to talk to. He’s entitled to his feelings of insecurity or jealousy, and he should’ve been mature enough to communicate those feelings while you two were still together. Then YOU could’ve made the decision to maybe end contact with those other people. But again, that would’ve been YOUR decision. You are in no way obliged to talk to only boyfriend-approved people, goddammit.

Viewing 12 posts - 25 through 36 (of 37 total)
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