Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

i think my friend is being fake

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by avatar Kate 3 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #843632
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    lisa

    There’s a girl I fought with 2 summers ago, and we’ve been at each other’s throats ever since. My best friend recently MADE FRIENDS WITH MY ENEMY and had sleepovers with her continuously even though I kept telling her that I’m really not okay with her making friends with her. Recently, there was a party and I decided to stay home. My friend went, and texted me when she was there. But something just felt off when she texting me, she sent me funny memes and stuff, and when I asked her who she was with, she said it was that same girl. I asked her what they’re doing and she said she’s showing her youtube videos. The next morning, when I woke up, she had texted me that morning and told me that she wasn’t friends with her at all. But here’s the thing, it didn’t feel like she lost a friend, she sounded super jolly and happy, but told me she wasn’t her friend anymore. But she said she was TEXTING WITH HER, so something was not adding up. I told her “Are you sure you guys arent friends? You text her, send her funny youtube videos, and gossip with her and you guys aren’t friends?” And she said “Nope lol”
    I’m afraid the girl talked some bad about me and she decided to lie to me, because that clearly is not the truth. I’m afraid she’s chosen her over me and is being fake to spare my feelings. Please don’t tell me to “move on” and make more friends because I don’t want new friends, I want my friend back.

    #843633
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    Fyodor

    I feel like we’re going to go through several rounds of advice only to get the depressing reveal that the LW is 30.

    Short advice : you’re not a nation state – you don’t have an “Enemy.” You don’t get to veto who your friend hangs out with. Apologize to her and let her do what she wants.

    #843634
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    golfer.gal

    The way to get your friend back is to apologize to her for trying to control who she gets to be friends with. You don’t get to dictate other people’s relationships. Did this other person do you grevious bodily harm? Viciously bully you? Show herself to be some sort of monster? Because unless it was on the order of “I am traumatized and feel triggered/unsafe having anything to do with this person” then you really need to back off trying to control your friend’s other friendships. She probably is lying to you/being fake about her contact with this other person because she’s sick of the mountain of pressure and bullshit she gets from you.

    If you think your friend would talk shit on you then she isn’t really a friend and, yeah, it’s time to make new friends. If what you mean by “get your friend back” is “things go back to how they were and she has no contact with this other person” well you don’t get to decide that. The way to get your friend back is to say “I’ve given this some thought and I’m sorry i tried to control your friendship with Other Person. I’d appreciate if you don’t talk to me about her and vice versa but i want you to know I’m done trying to force you not to be friends and I’m sorry. I miss you and i want to see more of you, do you want to get coffee/see a movie/whatever this week?”

    #843638
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    saneinca

    May be she is or may be she isn’t. Other than fighting with her or emotionally blackmailing her, how are you going to stop your friend from interacting with other people ?

    What are you bringing to this friendship ? If you are essentially self-centered, and your friend is having more fun with the other girl, then why would she give up that new friendship for you ?

    And even if you are a good, supportive friend, your friend still gets to have other relationships and other friendships.

    #843639
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    lisa

    Clearly you bitches have never had your best friend go and be all buddies with someone who she knows hates you. Come back when you experience what I’m feeling. When she teams up with my #1 rival it’s HURTFUL.

    #843640
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Excuse me, no name calling. You’re done.

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