This topic contains 40 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by ishkabibble 4 months ago.
June 6, 2018 at 6:43 am #755732
I want my long term boyfriend to propose to me, but he keeps putting it off and never seems to listen to what I want out of life. I have too much pride to have a baby to force the commitment, but I do want a higher level of commitment than living together. I have brought it up again and again, and he keeps telling me to be patient. My patience is running very, VERY low. Should I give him an ultimatum? Propose to me before the year is out or break up?
I know that he could just say “fine, I will propose” but then never do it. It’s hard to ask for proof. I know he would never cheat on me or hurt me in a lying way, but he just has a way of putting things that matter to ME on the back burner. I am no push over. This has gone on long enough. Advice?June 6, 2018 at 6:57 am #755733
Break up now.June 6, 2018 at 7:20 am #755737
It would be helpful to know how long you have been dating.I know you say long term but id like to know what you consider long term. Also, i can “feel” your frustration when i read this. Sounds like it is time to split. Being married wont change how he feels anyway, even if you demand an ultimatum. Lastly, you say nothing positive about this guy, NOTHING as to why you should be with him the rest of your life, just that you want a more higher level of commitment. You deserve a happy relationship, not a forced one.June 6, 2018 at 7:25 am #755739
“never seems to listen to what I want out of life”
Do YOU ever listen to what he wants out of HIS life?June 6, 2018 at 7:43 am #755741
I have listened and supported his life ambitions for over FOUR years now. I’m not a heartless person, I just thought it was about time I got something that I have in my planned life timeline. I do love him, he does little nice things for me, and so do my family and friends but he is really clever at putting things off. He strings me along saying “very soon, it’s a surprise so don’t spoil it”. He has been saying that for about a year now.
He thinks I will always be there and do anything for him.June 6, 2018 at 7:58 am #755742
Break up.June 6, 2018 at 8:07 am #755743
Yeah, you should break up. You super resent him at this point, you’re looking for proof that he loves you and is committed, you have a timeline that he doesn’t share, and honestly, if he wanted to propose to you, you’d be engaged already. You don’t trust him when he says, “very soon, it’s a surprise.” You think it’s possible he’d never do it. Move on, because you have zero faith in him and also because it just sounds like you want this “reward” from him, not like you see each other as life partners.June 6, 2018 at 8:09 am #755744
Marriage makes things harder not easier. So if you have issues either fix them or leave. Getting engaged is not the answer yet.June 6, 2018 at 8:17 am #755749
Omg yes, break up now. This is not a healthy mindset. If you’re at the point where you feel like you have to give him an ultimatum, and he can’t even talk to you about a timeline or where he’s at, marriage will NOT fix things. This relationship is broken and past it’s expiration date.June 6, 2018 at 8:32 am #755754
Take it from someone who waited a decade and heard the exact same empty promises. He is perfectly content with how things are now and has no interest in changing them.June 6, 2018 at 8:39 am #755760
Yeah, maybe he’ll propose, just to make you stop nagging him about it. Is that what you want? A guy that you had to relentlessly pressure into marrying you? A proposal that’s the result of an ultimatum? Do you really think that will lead to a happy, healthy, loving marriage?
Marriage is not something you put in a “planned life timeline.” Good god, do you really think that? That it’s like buying your first car, or reaching a career milestone? Something you check off a list?
It’s pretty clear that he doesn’t want to marry you. He wouldn’t have been putting you off for a year if he did. I think you know that, deep down.June 6, 2018 at 8:41 am #755761
Oh, and a proposal is not proof that he loves you.