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I want my boyfriend to prove he loves me

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This topic contains 40 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by avatar ishkabibble 4 months ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 41 total)
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  • #755732 Reply
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    Astrid

    Hi everyone,
    I want my long term boyfriend to propose to me, but he keeps putting it off and never seems to listen to what I want out of life. I have too much pride to have a baby to force the commitment, but I do want a higher level of commitment than living together. I have brought it up again and again, and he keeps telling me to be patient. My patience is running very, VERY low. Should I give him an ultimatum? Propose to me before the year is out or break up?
    I know that he could just say “fine, I will propose” but then never do it. It’s hard to ask for proof. I know he would never cheat on me or hurt me in a lying way, but he just has a way of putting things that matter to ME on the back burner. I am no push over. This has gone on long enough. Advice?

    #755733 Reply
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    M

    Break up now.

    #755737 Reply
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    Poppy
    Member

    It would be helpful to know how long you have been dating.I know you say long term but id like to know what you consider long term. Also, i can “feel” your frustration when i read this. Sounds like it is time to split. Being married wont change how he feels anyway, even if you demand an ultimatum. Lastly, you say nothing positive about this guy, NOTHING as to why you should be with him the rest of your life, just that you want a more higher level of commitment. You deserve a happy relationship, not a forced one.

    #755739 Reply
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    Ale
    Member

    “never seems to listen to what I want out of life”

    Do YOU ever listen to what he wants out of HIS life?

    #755741 Reply
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    Astrid

    I have listened and supported his life ambitions for over FOUR years now. I’m not a heartless person, I just thought it was about time I got something that I have in my planned life timeline. I do love him, he does little nice things for me, and so do my family and friends but he is really clever at putting things off. He strings me along saying “very soon, it’s a surprise so don’t spoil it”. He has been saying that for about a year now.

    He thinks I will always be there and do anything for him.

    #755742 Reply
    Just Max
    Just Max

    Break up.

    #755743 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yeah, you should break up. You super resent him at this point, you’re looking for proof that he loves you and is committed, you have a timeline that he doesn’t share, and honestly, if he wanted to propose to you, you’d be engaged already. You don’t trust him when he says, “very soon, it’s a surprise.” You think it’s possible he’d never do it. Move on, because you have zero faith in him and also because it just sounds like you want this “reward” from him, not like you see each other as life partners.

    #755744 Reply
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    JD

    Marriage makes things harder not easier. So if you have issues either fix them or leave. Getting engaged is not the answer yet.

    #755749 Reply
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    MissD
    Participant

    Omg yes, break up now. This is not a healthy mindset. If you’re at the point where you feel like you have to give him an ultimatum, and he can’t even talk to you about a timeline or where he’s at, marriage will NOT fix things. This relationship is broken and past it’s expiration date.

    #755754 Reply
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    JD

    Take it from someone who waited a decade and heard the exact same empty promises. He is perfectly content with how things are now and has no interest in changing them.

    #755760 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    Yeah, maybe he’ll propose, just to make you stop nagging him about it. Is that what you want? A guy that you had to relentlessly pressure into marrying you? A proposal that’s the result of an ultimatum? Do you really think that will lead to a happy, healthy, loving marriage?

    Marriage is not something you put in a “planned life timeline.” Good god, do you really think that? That it’s like buying your first car, or reaching a career milestone? Something you check off a list?

    It’s pretty clear that he doesn’t want to marry you. He wouldn’t have been putting you off for a year if he did. I think you know that, deep down.

    #755761 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    Oh, and a proposal is not proof that he loves you.

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