Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I’m 18 and I have no life plan.

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice I’m 18 and I have no life plan.

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  • #874775 Reply
    avatarMelissa Dunham
    Guest

    When I was 14, my parents and I moved to a foreign country. Since we aren’t citizens, I can’t get a job here. All my childhood friends have had jobs since they were 16 and are saving up to go to school, but I was never able to. My family is also very poor. I want to go back to Canada ( where I’m from ) to study but I don’t have a penny to my name. I have nobody I could live with in Canada either. I feel like I’m trapped here and I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost hope in a decent future for myself. It’s almost my 18th birthday and I haven’t even graduated high school yet. I’m studying for my GED now but I feel like it’s useless.

    #874778 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    What do your parents expect you to do? What’s their plan for their kid that they dragged to a foreign country? What do they do for work, and can you do that? Can you babysit? Could you join the Canadian Army? I’m serious.

    #874779 Reply
    avatarJay-
    Participant

    Can you go on welfare and save for a while?
    or if there’s any system where you are to do some kind of year long class or anything?
    you could still get paid and maybe make some friends that could change things

    #874785 Reply
    CopaCopa
    Participant

    So you’re getting your GED — does this mean you’re not going to high school? I think you need to finish school/your education first to make moving back more realistic.

    My family lived in Asia when I was in middle school and high school and there was a sizable expat community. In high school I made money babysitting and also tutoring elementary students, both of which I found through my international school.

    Are you applying for university? One of my best friends lives in Canada and university seems more affordable there than here in the U.S., and student loan debt less common/crushing. (May be wrong here but that’s my understanding.) You should be able to take on some debt to go to school.

    #874786 Reply
    avatarron
    Guest

    Yes, finish High School. What country are you in and why did your parents move there if they were going to be very poor there? It doesn’t make a lot of sense.

    #876291 Reply
    avatarMadie
    Guest

    They own a cleaning company in Canada. My father had always hoped that I would start my own business or just work as an entrepreneur because he thinks working for other people sucks. They’d like to start more businesses in the U.S, if so I might be able to manage one but it’s not something I’ve dreamed of doing. Canadian army is an idea but my dad would be very upset. He doesn’t like the army.

    #876294 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I’m so confused why they own a company in Canada but moved to where I see your ip is from. Are they from there originally?

    If you want to join the army, join the army! It’s a hell of a lot better than going into debt, and it can give you incredible opportunities. My first husband (I was 21) joined the US Air Force, got stationed in Italy and in Virginia, had the opportunity to get a 4-year degree for free but only finished a 2-year (that’s his problem), and got a seriously incredible job when he got out.

    #876295 Reply
    avatarAnge
    Guest

    The Canadian army is the highest paid in the world I believe, I’d go to that one over the American one. I’m not sure how much conflict they’re involved in but surely it’s a safer option also.

    #876309 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Oh yeah totally, not implying she should join the US Army. Just sharing my experience, which was US. Definitely join the Canadian army.

    #877282 Reply
    avatardirtorsoil
    Guest

    The military (US or Canada) is a good career option for many people like you. I have know people that escaped living with homeless parents, on the streets, or abusive households by joining the military. It does not have to be forever, in the US 4 years active duty is the starting commitment. This gives you opportunities to travel, bond with your team and get an education. It also allows you to be independent. Get your GED b/c without that you will not be able to support yourself as an adult, unless you get into a trade (another option).

    You are legally an adult and I am going to give you a hard truth. Parents don’t always make the best decisions and don’t always want the best for you. You have not had control over your life to this point, take control and make your own decisions. Your Dad’s opinions are moot. Its not like he asked you if you wanted to be transplanted to a place you hate.

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