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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I’m about to move out but my budget makes me scared. Can you help me?

Home Forums Advice & Chat I’m about to move out but my budget makes me scared. Can you help me?

  • This topic has 85 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 5 days ago by WhyDoWeExist?.
Viewing 12 posts - 73 through 84 (of 88 total)
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  • #1112680 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest
    #1112681 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest
    #1112685 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest
    #1112686 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest
    #1112688 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    The washcloths comment was from her father, about her sisters having sex with guys and then getting sexual fluids on the family washcloths, like he doesn’t use them to wash his own ass. And there was more than one comment like that from this Father of the Year.

    #1112690 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest

    And it’s hilarious, but the oldest post- we were giving you the exact same advice. Get out now, worry about your retirement later. And here we are 7 months later. I say this to show how, you haven’t gotten into therapy or really taken any of the steps. You’re still there. Why?

    You could leave today.

    #1112691 Reply
    Copa
    Participant

    Oh ok, wow. Didn’t realize it was that much. I do vaguely remember some of this but sometimes letters starting sounding the same even when it’s not the same LW. I remembered the “pass around” language (ick) and the letter about how to deal with moving out for the first time on your own, but not the washcloths. Anyway, might get caught up later.

    But yeah, therapy. Part of me feels like if you’re isolated and come from an abusive, messed up living situation like LW seems to have been raised in, it may not be that different from how it takes an average of seven tries for someone to finally leave an abusive relationship. So, I don’t want to be too harsh or pile on. But I do hope you will leave, LW, and soon. You have a job that brings in enough to make it work and if you play your cards right with smart choices, make that money go as far as it can for you. I hope you start unlearning some of what you may have internalized as normal or okay (have we mentioned therapy is great for this?). And I’d not be giving family like yours my address once I’m out.

    #1112692 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest

    I don’t think the washcloths one is in there but I couldn’t reread it all. It’s disturbing. Yes, I agree there’s such a deep level of dysfunction I’m sure it’s difficult to make the necessary steps but therapy. Therapy, therapy, therapy.

    I think I pay $188/month for unlimited therapy with BetterHelp, OP. I could see her every day if I wanted but I normally see her every two weeks. I can text her if I’m struggling and she’s had the ability to do calls so quickly sometimes when I’ve really needed it. I know it sound hokey, and I was hesitant but it’s been great, and for therapy that’s a really great price and value for price. Maybe I lucked out, but I also found the best therapist I’ve ever had.

    Things can change but you have to make them change.

    #1112734 Reply
    Lucidity
    Guest

    “The only thing that was made-up was that one post. Everything else is true…”

    I don’t think so. I just went back and reread all the posts, and noticed in the first post the child abusing brother was in his 30s but in the second post he’s in his 40s.

    #1112800 Reply
    TacoTuesday
    Guest

    Just applied for a place that better fits my budget: $1089.

    Hopefully all goes well. I understand the necessity of my move, so I didn’t want to miss it. But I do have doubts: it’s 2nd floor (noise above me) and kind of faces the pool (noisy kids all the time). Hope it’s okay.

    #1112801 Reply
    ron
    Guest

    You can live with that. It’s far better than what you’re experiencing at home.

    #1112802 Reply
    ron
    Guest

    You can live with that. It’s far better than what you’re experiencing at home.

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