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“I’m Concerned About My Daughter Being Around My Ex’s Mother”

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  • #1003900 Reply
    avatarDear Wendy

    From a LW:

    “Me and my ex partner have a 3 year old daughter and we have been split up just over 2 years now. After we split in 2018, my ex partner continued to stay living at home with his mum. I was more then happy to send our daughter with him every weekend to stay over for the night. Fast forward to 2019 I received a phone call from my ex saying that his mother had called the police on him while my daughter was staying over that weekend, and how his mum had stopped taking her bipolar medication.

    I have always known that she was bipolar and that she was on medication but i had never had any problems with her, we had always got on quite well. When I asked how long this had been going on for, he told that it had been going on for over a month which I find very irresponsible and putting my child in a dangerous situation. And how she was having these crazy manic episodes in front of our daughter and that it was scaring her. After this happend he moved out because he knew he could no longer be there or have our daughter there. We both agreed that we would deny her access of seeing her granddaughter as we didn’t know what she was capable of, until she started taking responsibility for what she had done. Instead of doing that she reported me on false allegations of child abuse.

    I explained what had happened with the whole bipolar manic episodes so that she also knew what had happend, I was investigated which made me very ill with stress and what not. The case was eventually dropped as there was no evidence to back what she had claimed. When I spoke to the women who was dealing with the case she told me she had put it down as a hate crime against me and that if she tried to do it again it would be flagged up. Especially after as I said before explained what had happend. I was advised to report her to the police which I did and in that time of sorting it out with the police. Me and my mother and also my ex received the most horrific and nasty vile messages from his mother. Just pure abuse and harrassment from her. Which was also reported to the police. Eventually I made my ex step in to try and get his mother committed as I felt he was just allowing her to do this to me. Eventually she was and I haven’t heard from her since. She was also committed in 2020 for not taking her medication again but making out she was and that she was better which was what my ex had informed me on.

    Until now 2021 when my ex approached me to say that his mother wanted to see our daughter. When I explained the agreement we made all I got was “well my mum’s better now and I want her to have access to our child” which I felt was very demanding and intimidating. At the end of the day it’s his mum he will forgive her. But for me after what she done and put me through I just cant forgive and forget, when I try and explain this to him all I get is “well we’ll take you to court and then see what happens” again trying to threaten me. I am just really scared that she would be given some access to our daughter and every time I think about it, I get a really bad gut feeling. I know as a father he has rights. But so do I, I have been told as the sole career for our child. If I deem a situation or a person unsafe for my child to be around I can safeguard her and stop contact I am well within my legal right. And have also been told that grandparents don’t have a leg to stand on.

    I just really want advice as to what you would do in this situation.”

    #1003998 Reply

    This is extremely serious and belongs in a solicitor’s office, not on an internet board of strangers. Get a solicitor and take it seriously.

    #1004002 Reply

    Do you have a lawyer?

    #1004020 Reply
    avatarMiss MJ

    Yeah, you need a lawyer.

    #1004039 Reply

    Get a lawyer that specializes in family/custody cases. I’m so sorry you have to go through this

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