I’m dating a married man
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Hy I need advice, I’ve been dating a married man for almost 2 years now, our relationship has been good with ups and down here nd there, things started to change a few months ago where I felt there’s a change in our relationship then I figured maybe his fixing his marriage given the problems his having only to find he is with someone else on a long distance relationship. When I found out he said she’s an ex from his past and his mistake was to entertain her but the problem is he said he loves her more than anything. I still love him and still want to be with him because we had a life together we built a life for that 2 years but now I said things to him out of anger including being very personal about his life battles I did not mean to but I couldn’t handle the pain and anger I have, we not on speaking terms right now but I want to make it work again. Any advice?
You did not have a life and did not build anything together. He’s married. You had an affair and now he’s cheating on two women with a third woman! He already told you that he’s in love with someone else. He does not love you he loves himself and made his feelings clear. Let me repeat that. He does NOT love you. He told you that face to face. You can NOT make this work because it never worked to begin with. This relationship is a dead end that will only cause you more pain.
A healthy loving relationship builds you up. It’s based on trust, honesty, respect and an unwillingness to cause the other person pain, fear, or sadness. It’s about two people working for a shared goal and future, sharing the same values……..your relationship is about one person, lying, cheating, and pursuing only what they want at the expense of others.
Don’t you deserve better?
What is the draw of this man? He sounds so shady! My advice is to move on. Date someone available. Consider therapy to get to the root of why you’ve spent two years of your life on this kind of person.
He wasn’t building anything but lies with you, while he’s been cheating in his wife and seeing other women, other than his own other woman. The fact that you thought this affair would end in a fairy tale romance shows how unrealistic your fantasies are.
Why did you get with a married man to begin with? Do you ever imagine what his wife feels?
Like, what is the attraction here…do you think one day he will grow up and be honest? He’ll ever stop lying? You need to see a therapist and date men who are available for relationships, married men, by definition, are not dating material. Do better.
You cannot make it ‘work’ again. He wanted a docile, undemanding affair partner. You stood up for yourself and also spoke truths about his life and deficiencies. He needed you to unquestioningly accept the fantasy he spun, so that you were willing to date a married man. Actually, he also wanted someone who would tolerate a second affair partner, if she was long distance. You’re not that person. Be glad that you are not that person, shake off the remaining traces of the untruthful fantasy he helped create with you and MOA. Learn from this. I agree that he never loved you. He was never going to leave his wife. You were his diversion from his marriage. If he cared enough about you to want to actually live the fantasy, then he would have left his wife, the two of you would be living together, and there wouldn’t be a third woman as a LDR interest. From what you wrote, at some level you realize all of this. You devoted two years to this affair. In the end, he did not choose you.
