Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I'm in a state of emotional stress, and feel like a shitty friend & a loser.

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice I'm in a state of emotional stress, and feel like a shitty friend & a loser.

This topic contains 112 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar Logan 6 days, 5 hours ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 113 total)
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  • #840940 Reply
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    Hunter

    Bare facts: Junior prom was tonight, I went single, it was fun. I’ve a good friend I knew from 1st grade, he’s cool. We’ve been tight for a really long time.
    There’s girl I’ve liked since like 9th grade. I asked her out one time like almost 2 years ago and she said no, I didn’t really care though, I just laughed it off, at least on the outside. On the inside? I still haven’t completely let go (even though I know I really should’ve).
    At prom, I see these too together, I go to greet them and here’s how it basically went:
    Me on the outside: “howzit man? I see you found yourself a date, nice job”
    Me on the inside: [imagines him banging her after prom] “I wanna punch you right in your motherfucking throat”
    That’s basically my attitude whenever I see or think of them now, but I didn’t talk to them any further (I didn’t wanna end up lashing out and starting fights).
    I’m so stressed out and torn right now. Part of me wanted to steal her from him, swoon her over, and bang/date her. But I can’t fucking do that to my friend, I don’t want to do that to him, he’s been my homeboy for so damn long. I’d hate to have beef and be fighting with him over this all the time. But I just can’t stand the sight of those two together, all I can ever think about when I see them is them having sex (with her moaning at him) and how I’m a rejected loser, it’s just been eating me up inside all this time.
    I just feel so shitty. There’s nothing I can do, and that’s what’s really hurting me right now. If I try to steal her, I lose one of my best friends, and earn a new enemy who I’ll fight with all the time. Even if I decided that I didn’t give two shits about my friend anymore, I already tried with her, and she said no. I keep trying to tell myself “she’s not interested, it ain’t gonna happen, she don’t like you, get over it Hunter, find someone else, forget about her”.
    What happens next is up to fate to decide. I honestly just fucking give up with this whole situation. She does not like me (in that way), she’s with someone else, and I’m too much of a pussy to swoon her over because she’s with one of my close friends. No matter what I’m never gonna come out on top here, and I’m just gonna keep feeling like a shitty friend and a loser.
    Opinions on how much of a shitty friend and a loser I am?

    #840941 Reply
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    Hunter

    Yes it is the same girl from my last post I’m referring to here. I know I should be over her already, which makes this whole thing feel even more junk.

    #840942 Reply
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    Hunter

    Also, don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy my prom in spite of this, it’s just really been eating me all this time, especially when I see these two.

    #840944 Reply
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    M

    She said no. She is a human you can’t steal her. You sound like an asshole here and if you keep this up you will ruin your friendship with this guy and make this girl and everyone on this forum think you are a creep. Get over it. Get over yourself. Go see a therapist. Leave this woman alone she said no and is free to do as she pleases with whoever she pleases. Stop imagining her “banging” your friend. Just stop.

    #840945 Reply
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    Hunter

    I already feel like an asshole M. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.

    #840946 Reply
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    Hunter

    I’m not gonna do anything. That’s it, I’m done. I’m just going to suck it up, not say or do anything, sit back, and let him have her. Trying to do anything else will only cause problems.

    #840949 Reply
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    Hunter

    Maybe it’s time I just get some weed, light up, and take a draw. That aught to get my mind off of this once and for all. Seriously, what other choice do I have?

    #840951 Reply
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    Ange

    You shouldn’t do anything because she has already said no and you need to respect people’s choices. Your friend hasn’t done anything wrong, she hasn’t done anything wrong. The second you stop framing it like they’re dating AT you or like they’re cheating on you (hint: they’re not and they don’t owe you any loyalty here) you’ll probably feel a lot better. And stop talking about banging like that, she’s not your personal porn star and you sound like an utter creep. If you ever want to get an actual woman to want to sleep with you your attitude in that area really needs to change.

    #840953 Reply
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    Hunter

    I already said I’m not gonna do anything. I know it would only cause problems and there’s no reason for me to fight with either of them.

    I don’t feel like they’re dating “at” me as you put it, I just feel like a bad friend. I’m not angry at them or anything, I guess I’m just jealous. It’s basically like a case of wanting what you know you can’t have.

    I’m just gonna go smoke my first joint and forget about it.

    #840954 Reply
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    Ange

    Kids these days are so sophisticated, when I was that age I was drinking goon and spewing in a carpark.

    #840955 Reply
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    Hunter

    I don’t know what goon is. Is it better than weed? Cause that’s sure as hell what I’m considering.

    #840956 Reply
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    Helen

    Everyone is capable of ugly feelings and nothing feels uglier than jealousy mixed with self hatred. You acknowledge your feelings are ugly and desire to change them, so there’s hope. But boy are you coming off creepy here. She is not an object you can steal or possess. She has her own wants & feelings. So does your friend. They aren’t doing anything wrong by being together even though it hurts you. You have to figure out a way to move on from this crush. Find something to focus your energy on. Exercise is your best friend. Take up running or lifting. You’ll feel great & others can tell when you’re happy and that’s when they want to be around you. Have you ever smoked pot? You talked about it like it would solve your emotional problems, but pot can bring it’s own anxiety. Using drugs is gasoline to whatever fire you got going on. I’ve been there. I tried to solve my problems with alcohol and I lost everything. Except for the 40lbs I gained. Please take my advice and take up running. Your future self will thank you

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