Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I'm in a state of emotional stress, and feel like a shitty friend & a loser.

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice I'm in a state of emotional stress, and feel like a shitty friend & a loser.

This topic contains 112 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar Logan 6 days, 5 hours ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 85 through 96 (of 113 total)
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  • #841062 Reply
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    Hunter

    I know that. I just don’t want other people I know to think of me like that. Because believe me a lot of people do.

    #841063 Reply
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    Leah

    Yeah and again…those people are far better off than people who don’t seek help.

    Hunter, if you consider yourself to be a sick psychopath(which you are not)you’re basically saying you want to continue being a sick psychopath(ie no therapy) instead of getting help to stop being a sick psychopath.

    #841064 Reply
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    Kate

    PS there’s therapy on your island.

    #841065 Reply
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    Leah

    You can do therapy remotely nowadays. Not sure whether you can keep it from your parents, but I would look into that.

    #841066 Reply
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    Hunter

    Therapy on Molokai? Care to enlighten me on how you’d know we have it?

    #841067 Reply
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    Hunter

    Remotely for free? I no more one credit card. Sites you know of that I could hit up?

    #841069 Reply
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    Kate
    #841070 Reply
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    Kate
    #841075 Reply
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    Helen

    There’s an app called Doctor on Demand. For $40 (I think) you can be facetiming a therapist. You don’t even have to leave your house. Nobody judges people for going to therapy anymore. Literally everyone does it. And it’s not something you have to continue for a long time. If you’re open to the process you can change your outlook significantly in a short amount of time.

    #841076 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    Anyone can buy product from Costco and resell it. A ton of school groups, PTAs that kind of thing sell it at school games and functions. That’s kind of the allure with Costco being bulk and cheap. Even some restaurants buy directly from them.

    “I bought candy from Costco and resold it” isn’t something you can really put on a resume. Same goes for homemade cookies….because it’s not an actual job. It’s a side hustle for you to make pocket change. A real job, as a dishwasher, cashier, server…is actually something that a better job will look for. Because it shows you can show up to a job and perform the basic duties necessary. Welcome to adulthood. No one just shows up and gets a really good or exciting job right off the bat-unless they don’t actually need a job, then it’s called an internship. But no one is advising you to get a job for money- it’s a way to get to know and interact with real living women that isn’t pornhub.

    Seeking help isn’t a big fucking deal. If you had excruciating pain in your jaw, you’d see a doctor. This is the same thing. A girl said NO to you two years ago and you’re still alarmingly hung up on it. That’s an issue. That’s not normal. You could benefit from some help. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

    #841078 Reply
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    Kate

    The thing about that kind of work on a resume is it’s not official or verifiable. You could have made it up. With jobs you do for people or companies, you use names and locations and they can call for references. It’s documented and verifiable. Even babysitting, you can provide references. Buying and reselling candy is a way to make money, but it’s in no way *work experience* that can help you apply for interesting and skilled jobs. You need actual entry-level jobs like dishwasher or bagger or ice cream scooper or burger flipper on your resume. And please don’t think you’re too good for that kind of work.

    At most, your hustles could be an anecdote you use in an interview to show you’re entrepreneurial. But you wouldn’t get that interview without a resume that shows work experience.

    #841133 Reply
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    keyblade
    Member

    Hi Hunter,

    Sorry you feel so down in the dumps. I strongly suggest you don’t turn to pot to turn off the feelings you’re carrying right now. It’s a much better idea to go for a run and then go volunteer to help someone else. I also agree with getting a job to keep busy this summer.

    As far as the girls go, I think it’s great you went to your junior prom with a friend. You come off a little intense, simply because you seem to have some strong feelings for this crush and you are following those feelings despite knowing on some level you are barking up the wrong tree.

    If you want to experience dating, maybe you should lower the emotional bar for your dates. Why not ask a nice person out who doesn’t give you butterfly stomach cramps and whom you have no expectation of going on a second date? Maybe you could ask out someone you don’t know as well who is outside the circle of your best friends? Not because you want it to go anywhere or that person to become your girlfriend but just to get to know her as a person a little better?

    Most of dating is getting to know others. If you can drive, maybe you can ask someone who is a little shyer if they would like to go see a movie with you. If they say yes, don’t chat their ear off about your hobbies or being a hammer.

    A date can be a simple thing, you don’t have to pursue true love. In fact, you will be much further along if you stop getting ahead of yourself. Go do something low key like paint a pottery piece, or get an ice cream cone. Go in with the assumption that you will be treating on the date because you were the one who asked for her time. Be a better listener and more curious about her than you are eager to talk about yourself. Clean yourself up, offer to pick her up, and text her a thank you after the date. Always say “hi” and be warm to the people you’ve dated.

    After you’ve gone on a few dates with a few different girls (you don’t have to marry anyone, you’re just going out as friends) ask a girl who you had fun with if she would like to go on another date.

    If you prove yourself to be a good date, a girl is far more likely to accept your invitation to a dance in the future. And you are far less likely to sulk and take rejection so personally once you’ve got your own plans to focus your time on.

    Talk less, listen more. Don’t judge girls or only ask them out based on them being someone you think would impress your friends and make you feel good about yourself. You’re the only one who can do that by being a kind kid and keeping yourself active and balanced.

    A summer job is a great way to get out of your head and build up your self-confidence. Maybe it’s all the “hammer” talk but construction comes to mind.

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