Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I’m in love with a married man

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This topic contains 20 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by bagge72 bagge72 3 months ago.

Viewing 9 posts - 13 through 21 (of 21 total)
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  • #841160 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    LW, I know you’re caught up in what feels like a forbidden, star-crossed love affair. I promise you, in years to come, you’ll look back and wonder why you didn’t see the lies that are so obvious to all of us. What seems romantic and passionate now will someday feel ugly and kinda trashy when you look back at it.

    Have the self-respect to walk away from this mess.

    #841245 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Coming here to say exactly what Leah said.

    Either they are friends and the wife wouldn’t mind meeting you OR the wife loves him and will be devastated to learn he’s cheating (likely cheating again).

    what’s clear is that he doesn’t love his wife.

    #841246 Reply
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    TheHizzy

    @leah yes!

    #841247 Reply
    Crochet.Ninja
    Crochet.Ninja
    Participant

    soo.. as someone who was the ‘other woman’, if he wants to be with you, he will leave his wife. if he hasn’t done it yet, it’s not going to happen. and he’s pretty much told you as much – so you need to believe him. MOA.

    #841253 Reply
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    SpaceySteph
    Participant

    I agree with everything said but I want to add that I don’t think you really love this guy, because you don’t really know him. You don’t know the truth about his family, you have never met his kid, his parents, his friends. You know the tiny little sliver of him that you can have between all the lies he’s telling you and all the lies he’s telling everyone else in his life to hide you. That’s not love.

    You were coming out of a bad relationship and here was a guy who “treated you like a princess” with romantic dinners and a great story about a marriage of convenience and you wanted to believe it so you did. But this isn’t a good relationship either, go out there and find a better one.

    #841254 Reply
    bagge72
    bagge72
    Participant

    This guy is feeding you major bullshit, and he’s a terrible dad as well. Seems he would rather spend all this time with his side chick, than with his kid. Probably telling the wife and kid he’s working late so he can hang with you instead. So my answers to your questions about what do you do, is to be a smarter person.

    Also I’m not sure where in the letter the LW said he was allowed to date her, just that he married his wife because of the kid, and they were just friends not really lovers. No where in the letter did it talk about his wife being ok with their dating.

    #841255 Reply
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    SpaceySteph
    Participant

    @bagge72 I think folks’ point is that if they really were friends who got married because they had a child then it would make more sense for him to be allowed to date.

    Its good logic to use whenever you suspect you’re a side chick– if he is telling the truth about open marriage or being separated or only staying together for the children then why is it that he has to keep you secret and sneak around? Does this dude’s story make sense? No, it does not. Because it is bullshit.

    #841256 Reply

    I think he said what he felt he needed to in the moment to convince you to sleep with him and you chose to believe it. He’s not a great father, staying together for the sake of his child if he’s out wining and dining you. He’s told you he’s not going to leave her.

    I wonder if his wife knows they’re just friends, staying together for the kid. I bet that’s not what he tells her.

    #841260 Reply
    bagge72
    bagge72
    Participant

    yeah I’m saying he never said anything about an open marriage, and she knows he’s cheating with her. Basically he was using his story to justify cheating (and she fell for it) not to say his wife is cool with it.

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