Home › Forums › Get Advice, Give Advice › IM IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND
- This topic has 10 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 3 weeks ago by
Cheryl.
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SydneyGuestI have been best friends with this guy since we were 10. We’re 18 now and I love him now more than ever. We just click and we love spending time together. We’ve had our chances to be together in the past, but pushed our feelings away and saw other people as we attended different high schools and didn’t want to do long distance. We were young and dumb and that’s okay because we have both learnt so much about ourselves and I realized that I actually love him so much that I would do long distance (a 14 hour drive) for him. The only problem is that he has a girlfriend who he’s been dating for a year – much longer than any of our friends expected since we thought he started their relationship to make me jealous. I think he feels the same way as I do about him, but he’s too scared of rejection from me. I really want to be with him but don’t want to put him in a position where he has to choose between myself and his toxic girlfriend. All of our friends have wanted us to date since we were 14 and I know that I am ready now. I have been hiding my feelings for 9 months now and I am so ready to be with my best friend for the rest of my life. What do I do?
KateKeymasterYou need to wait until he’s not with his girlfriend anymore and then tell him how you feel. Do not do this right now.
HelenGuestHe has a gf & you’re a 14hr drive away? And you’re both 18? Its not going to work. Even if your friends want it to. If you find yourselves single and in the same town in the future, go for it. But don’t try it under your current conditions.
KateKeymasterYou do kind of have to think, if you two didn’t give it a shot when you were single and in the same town, why do you feel so into him now? Could part of it be because he’s not accessible to you? He’s not available and that makes you want him.
anonymousseParticipantI am so curious as to how you’ve spent time together if he lives so far away? Where did you meet him? In what way is his girlfriend toxic?
Other than that, I think 14 hours is way too far to really make a relationship. You’re 18, are you enrolled in college? I’d recommend dating guys you can spend a lot of time with in person.
FYIGuestWHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR COLLEGE? Please go to a community college, at least, or a trade school, if you have no plans for university. All that energy you’re spending thinking about this dude (who couldn’t be MORE unavailable) could be put into your own future.
BittergaymarkGuestThis is all a fantasy in your head. Date somebody local.
BittergaymarkGuestThis is all a fantasy in your head. Date somebody local.
SydneyGuestI didn’t explain well – we live a 30 min drive away from each other now – but next year we’re going to college and the other side of the country from each other. His girlfriend now constantly cheats on him and i’m always his shoulder to lean on when she does.
anonymousseParticipantTell him to dump the cheating gf and tell him how you feel. That probably should be a separate conversation from the first one. What have you got to lose?
CherylGuestHe doesn’t feel the same way if he has a girlfriend and I’m so sorry because this isn’t what you want to hear. I’ve developed strong feelings for a man but they weren’t reciprocated, and I think the fact he has a girlfriend (for one year) is a big give away! When I was in touch with this man, I could not date other men.
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