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In love with roommate? And she with me?

Home Forums General Chat In love with roommate? And she with me?

This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by avatar Moe 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #809887 Reply
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    Confusion???

    Dear reader,
    Im a 20 years old girl and I live with my roommate who is the same age as me. Recently i started having feelings for her (I think) and I don’t know if its vice versa. When I moved in with her she said that she’s bi and she has dated a girl in the past for a year or so but she doesn’t want to date girls anymore because her parents didn’t accept it and it was only troube. We have become really, really close in a short amount of time. I’ve always doubted my sexual orientation but now I’m só confused and I can’t tell this to anyone ’cause I don’t want to ruin the perfect friendship we have. We do absolutely everything together (studying, cooking, shopping) and it is always much fun. Sometimes we even sleep in each others beds and talk to each other all the time. What should I do?

    #809962 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    You shouldn’t date your roommate.

    #809966 Reply
    Lucidity
    Lucidity
    Member

    Are you on a long-term lease or month to month? It sounds like you have a great roommate – someone you get along with and are good friends with to boot. Personally, I wouldn’t risk that by getting involved with her, but if you do, make sure you’re in a position to extricate yourself from that living situation quickly. Keep in mind that most of your relationships will end in a break-up, especially at your age, a time when you’re still growing as a person and learning about what you want, so be prepared for this eventuality and proceed with caution.

    #809979 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    Expect to find a new apartment or roommate. If you are ok with that then pursue it but know it most likely will end in one of you moving. By most likely I mean it 100% will just a matter of when.

    #810058 Reply
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    HarrisonSSS
    Member

    Try to find a time when you both are relaxed and reflective. Be open and you might have a really good conversation. After all, you are both young and exploring life and learning about yourselves. You talked about this here, so that is preparing you for talking to her. Say “I really enjoy time together and have some feelings to be closer and intimate, but not sure if it is comfortable. Do you mind talking about it?” Face the risk of a later ending and changing roommates.

    #810334 Reply
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    Moe

    I am a lesbian and have been out for a long time. From my perspective, the very, very close nature of your connection concerns me. Even is you ARE attracted to each other, you should have other friends, interests or activities that you do separately. I think without this, there is a high chance it will become very healthy very quickly. It might seem counter intuitive, but the advice I have is to find some SPACE and then if feel the same way, THEN talk to her about it.

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