Interested in a gorgeous and highly popular guy at my college

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  • April 29, 2022 at 12:51 pm #1108990

    I am 19 at the moment, and I have heard from several people that I am attractive;
    I am 5’4 in height, slender and curvy, and I often hear that I have a cute face, so I think I have good chances on that point, haha.

    I think that what I mean regarding what I want to get out of all this is that I cannot say for sure how I will end up feeling if I have had sex with him.
    However, I feel that I am currently attracted to his looks, and then the fact that he seems like a decent person is merely a bonus in the sense that there hasn’t been anything about his behaviour that I have actually considered a turn-off in any way.
    Like if he for example acted very arrogant, then I would probably find him much less hot, since that part of him would bug me.
    But there isn’t anything like that about him that has made him look worse in that way, so that is a good thing.

    As for the whole thing about being direct with him, I do plan on being a bit like that;
    I just want to also keep this at a level so that I don’t look indecent around other people, so to speak.
    But I guess I could seduce him quite safely by telling him that he is hot and wearing leggings and a tight tank top, or something like that.
    I will see what I end up doing, haha.

    April 29, 2022 at 1:25 pm #1108992

    How do you know he’s decent and not arrogant? What kinds of interactions have you had with him to date?

    Sounds like you’ve just seen him in class and around, you really have no idea what his personality is like because you’ve never actually had a conversation with him. Arrogant people can still be studious and be quiet and listen during a lecture.

    And if you just want to get naked with him, that’s totally cool.

    But I do think you’re trying to toe this line of not acting a certain way or coming across a certain way, and if you just want to have sex with him, what do you care what other people think?

    Just be honest with yourself. If you want to just get it, own that and put it out there.

    If you think you want more with him, be honest about that with yourself and also be honest that you have a picture of him in his head that you made up, and you need to first actually get to know who he is.

    April 29, 2022 at 1:31 pm #1108993

    It’s just my first impressions of him based on how I have seen him interact around other people, and I haven’t really seen anything in his behaviour that indicates anything else.
    Hopefully, this will turn out to be true when I start flirting with him, so that there isn’t anything about his attitude that will actually annoy me.

    April 29, 2022 at 2:09 pm #1108994

    Okay – I mean, that’s not enough for you to know his character. It’s just not.

    By all means chat him up to see for yourself. But you have no clue what he’s like.

    And, if you really just want to have sex with him and don’t care what kind of person he is, just make life easier for yourself and just say that to him directly. He’ll either be interested and take you up on it, or he won’t and that’ll be that.

    Enough of this dithering.

    April 29, 2022 at 2:34 pm #1108995

    This is starting to feel like harassing the LW. She says she knows what she thinks she wants, she’s seen the guy’s behavior (which can tell you a lot), and I don’t really see scheming or strategizing here, she’s just looking for a way to talk to him. She’s got to do it her way and see how it works out.

    April 29, 2022 at 4:18 pm #1108996

    “If you actually want more – well just treat him like a person and get to know him, and see if actually once you know him you still like him, much less if he likes you back.”

    At this stage in his life, I don’t think there is the possibility of ‘more’. Yes, treat him like a person, but giving off the vibe that she wants more is likely to be a turnoff.

    April 29, 2022 at 6:07 pm #1108997

    Similarly, I don’t think telling him she just wants sex with him is a good idea either. First, because it’s not strictly true, she is open to more, and second because it’s not necessary in this context. There’s no indication this guy is interested in anything more than something casual. Context matters. If she saw some guy on an app who said, “I am looking for a relationship,” and she just thought he was hot and wanted to hook up, then sure, tell him you’re not looking for anything serious, or don’t message him. But here’s a guy who clearly IS keeping it casual, and she’s looking to be casual too, so a statement of intention is not needed. She just needs to talk to him and flirt.

    April 29, 2022 at 6:47 pm #1108998

    Honestly I don’t think someone wanting a hookup requires this much analysis of their intentions. Even if it happens and OP wants more and it doesn’t work out it’s a minor heartbreak, I’m sure everyone involved will be ok. Let the woman live, damn.

    April 29, 2022 at 8:32 pm #1108999

    Yes, it is a physical hook-up that is my goal here;
    I have made up my mind now.

    I am just kind of unused to giving a hook-up invitation straight away like this, since my previous dates have developed a lot more gradually, so it is a bit tricky for me to tell where I cross the line between “straight to the point” and “slutty”.
    I would of course prefer to not fall into the later category, since that would feel a bit demeaning in general, but yet at the same time make it very clear that I am ready for some fun with him in bed.

    My baseline at the moment is to make it very clear to him that I am ready for the physical part, but at the same time stay on a level that wouldn’t look inappropriate in public.
    I guess the actual situation will flow a lot more naturally when I approach him.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by KatieKat.
    April 29, 2022 at 9:25 pm #1109001

    I didn’t actually need to know about your looks. It’s great you have them, that’s definitely in your favor.

    My more important point was that you haven’t even spoken to him in person yet, right? Start there if you want possibly more than just sex. Just like another guy. Don’t treat him like a prize stud like all the other girls.

    I’m also trying to say, if you just want sex, you see exactly how the other girls get a fling with him, if he’s into it. There’s an easy formula to follow. It’s not complicated.

    April 30, 2022 at 12:50 pm #1109010

    I guess so.
    I do remember that one girl told him that she thought he is very good-looking, and at the same time did things like having very flirty eye contact with him while moving one of her hands over one of his forearms, and asking him if they could meet some time.
    I would assume that he “got the hint” there.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by KatieKat.
    April 30, 2022 at 4:16 pm #1109012

    Do you need instructions on how to flirt? We can provide those, and I’m not kidding or trying to be mean. I can imagine it’s been hard figuring this stuff out at your age, with how the state of world and schools have been the past two years. I’m serious and if I’m overstepping and that’s not something you need any help with, sorry in advance.

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Interested in a gorgeous and highly popular guy at my college

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