Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Is he gay, or am I paranoid??

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Is he gay, or am I paranoid??

This topic contains 15 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar dinoceros 3 months, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 4 posts - 13 through 16 (of 16 total)
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  • #844352 Reply

    Everyone gave you good advice: more help from this or another therapist, see a psychiatrist, leave this guy. You also need to stop brooding over his sexual orientation. He might well be bi. Does that make any possible difference to your situation or to what you need to do? Answer: no, it doesn’t. Knowing the answer to this won’t give you closure, won’t make your paranoia and what you describe as anxiety in every relationship less severe or ok. Totally forget him. Fix yourself. The relationship failed. That’s all the explanation you need.

    #844359 Reply

    For the most part there is no such thing as irreparable damage to your mental state. Your brain is amazing and elastic. You can learn, unlearn and relearn everything – you just have to do the work.

    If being with this guy makes you feel uneasy and in a untenable situation – then it’s not the right relationship. MOA.

    #844418 Reply

    This Letter confused me. For starters, I don’t think any of you actually understand what the term “twink” means. If VF recently lost a lot of weight, he was never a “twink.” There are no chubby “twinks.”
    From Wikipedia: “Twink is gay slang for a young man in his late teens to early twenties whose traits may include: general physical attractiveness; little to no body or facial hair; a slim to average build; and a youthful appearance that belies an older chronological age.”

    #844573 Reply

    If you haven’t talked to your therapist about your paranoid and your paralysis due to anxiety, definitely do that. If you have and they aren’t addressing it, then see someone else. I would agree that someone like a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication might be good because you’re experiencing an intensity of emotions that you can’t control (even while going to therapy, which should be teaching you skills for this).

    I think it’s doubtful that he’s gay, but even if he were, like the others have said, it doesn’t matter much. Your feelings around this situation are still pretty intense.

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