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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Is he still engaged?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Is he still engaged?

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 23 total)
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  • #1101184 Reply
    Rea
    Guest

    Hi! I’ve been seeing this guy since July and we made it official in October. However, I’m worried because I’m never allowed to go to his house. I have been twice. The first time he was fine because nobody was in but the second time he was really on edge and I couldn’t leave the kitchen. I recently found out he is living with his ‘ex’ fiancee still but she is moving out next Jan (they supposedly broke up at the end of 2019/start of 2020). Do we reckon they are still engaged? Baring in mind her Facebook still says they are engaged, her profile picture is a photo of her and him (from 2019) and the last time she posted was May this year

    #1101186 Reply
    Ange
    Guest

    It’s not looking good! Even if they are miraculously not actually together there’s still a level of entanglement there where he doesn’t want her to see you. But most likely he’s cheating.

    #1101187 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    They’re still engaged.

    #1101193 Reply
    FYI
    Guest

    Jesus. C’mon now. Is this acceptable to you? He’s lying. It’s really really important to have standards.

    #1101194 Reply
    Rea
    Guest

    Do you guys think I should tell her?

    #1101195 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    What would be your motivation?

    #1101196 Reply
    ron
    Guest

    No, don’t tell her. It won’t lead to him staying with you and you’d clearly be doing it out of spite and that wish to have him for yourself. He isn’t worth having. Just MOA and don’t look back.

    #1101198 Reply
    Rea
    Guest

    Okay I understand. I don’t want him, but I would just hate for her to settle down with someone who clearly doesn’t really care about her either. But I don’t know their situation.

    #1101199 Reply
    Rea
    Guest

    I just think that if I was engaged to someone who was cheating on me, I would want someone to tell me instead of living a lie

    #1101201 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I think what would be more appropriate would be to tell him this whole thing is sketchy as hell, you’re not actually comfortable with him still living with his supposedly ex-fiancée who thinks they’re still engaged and who he hides you from, so you’ll be moving on, and best wishes.

    #1101202 Reply
    Oracle
    Guest

    If you have to ask………….

    #1101204 Reply
    FYI
    Guest

    If the LW tells this liar that she finds the whole thing sketchy, then that opens the door to more manipulation. The LW should only tell him if she is SURE that she has the self-worth to walk away and not listen to more lies.

    He will 100% turn on the charm channel once she tells him she is done.

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