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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Is he trying to get my attention?

Home Forums Advice & Chat Is he trying to get my attention?

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  • #1110711 Reply
    Reign
    Guest

    One month post breakup and it feels like it’s been years!!! I still have my ex on all social media yet we don’t interact with each other. He doesn’t like my post and vice-versa. I’d usually watch his social media stories but stopped once we broke up.

    I recently went on vacation and posted a lot of nice pictures of myself. NOT to get his attention but because I genuinely enjoyed my time and wanted to share it. He didn’t like the pictures or anything but I realized he started watching my social media stories. Then, he started posting on social media more.

    Before the breakup, he rarely posted anything on social media. A picture here and there on Facebook and Instagram. Now, he’s been posting frequently on his stories (on all 3 platforms) which is literally so unusual. He never used to post on IG stories or FB stories yet he suddenly is.

    I know this is so silly lol, but is it crazy to think that he’s trying to get my attention?

    PSA: leave the rude comments about “why do you care” out! I still love him and I’m grieving so this is just my process.

    #1110712 Reply
    Reign
    Guest

    Just wanted to clarify: I used to watch his social media stories as in Snapchat (which he also posted rarely on but posted sometimes). He also posts on there a lot more too.

    #1110715 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Honestly I think it’s more likely he’s trying to put himself out there to get attention from women in general. Or, like you, he’s going out and having fun and wants to share it.

    It’s highly recommended to remove your ex from social media and block them everywhere so that you can go absolutely no contact for at least 2 months after a breakup. Not because you hate each other, but so you can move on and not get pulled back into having them live rent-free in your head.

    #1110717 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest

    I agree with Kate. It’s really kind of funny to me to assume his increased social media presence is because of your vacation pictures. Do you both commicate in smoke signals or telepathic messages? Don’t you think if he wanted your attention, he’d like your pictures, message or call you?

    Stop trying to interpret his motivations for whatever he’s doing and stop following him, as Kate says. Move on.

    It would be good for you to remove him and get on with your life. You broke up. It’s over. Or if you’re still so in love with him, and you can’t get over it, tell him instead of pining over him and feeling horrible and overthinking his posts.

    #1110750 Reply
    Copa
    Participant

    I’ll bite: The first time I got dumped, I 100% started posting more to social media. IDK that I’d have described it as trying to get my ex’s attention, but there was a part of me that wanted him to see that my life was still oh-so-fab without him. I have friends who have done similar. (I’m in my 30s now, so I did have social media in my late teens, but it’s different now than it was back in the day. So when I say I did stuff like this, what I really mean is that I changed my profile picture to one where I felt I looked hot and doing fun stuff because back then social media wasn’t as constant as it is now.) I don’t understand SnapChat, but I have a few friends who have used it, and have heard that people will pay close attention to snap scores or whatever as proof of increased activity/someone snap chatting (snapping? IDK the lingo) someone else.

    So I don’t think you’re *crazy*, but I do think it’s a waste of emotional energy. There are lots of ways social media can drive you crazy post break-up if you let it. Right now, you’re letting it. I’ve learned over the years that it’s easiest to delete exes from social media. It can make moving on that much harder if you’re seeing what they’re up to every day. Your grieving period will be that much easier and your feelings for him will fade faster if you delete him. Believe me, I’ve learned the hard way.

    #1110751 Reply
    Fyodor
    Guest

    Stop following your ex on social media. It drains time and emotional energy that could be spent finding someone new or otherwise bettering your life.

    #1110752 Reply
    LisforLeslie
    Guest

    Well, just for funsies – let’s say that he was trying to get your attention. Either his intention is to let you and other people know he’s moving on or he’s trying to “win” moving on because you posted a bunch of stuff. In either scenario, he’s changing his behavior because that’s what suits him now. I don’t think he’s trying to get back with you.

    #1110753 Reply
    LisforLeslie
    Guest

    Well, just for funsies – let’s say that he was trying to get your attention. Either his intention is to let you and other people know he’s moving on or he’s trying to “win” moving on because you posted a bunch of stuff. In either scenario, he’s changing his behavior because that’s what suits him now. I don’t think he’s trying to get back with you.

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