Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Is he trying to make me jealous?

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  • #854412 Reply

    I went on a few dates with a guy but I didn’t want any more to do with him. He told me he was in love with me but I didn’t feel the same way. I only just broke it off yesterday and I’ve just discovered he’s online dating and he messaged me out of the blue saying he has been chatting to a girl and they are going on a date. He described her, it was practically his perfect type. Is he trying to make me jealous? If so why? Also he’s said some hurtful things too about things I told him in confidence. Why is he being horrible to me for no reason?

    #854418 Reply

    He’s showing you who he is, and you should believe him. He’s the kind of guy who pushes love and commitment after only a few dates (a major red flag), and then gets nasty by saying hurtful things about private information you told him in confidence when he doesn’t get what he wants. Yes, he’s trying to make you jealous. Or, rather, he’s trying to manipulate you into committing to him. Your instinct to cut ties was correct. Block his number and block him on all social media/dating platforms. He is not a good guy.

    #854419 Reply

    He thought he had found a weak target he could control and abuse. You showed him that you are way stronger than he expected. Congratulate yourself and block him on everything. This was just part 2 from his little abuser’s handbook, after part one failed. For future reference, it’s good that you’re such an open person, but it isn’t wise to tell things in confidence to somebody you barely know.

    #854430 Reply

    He’s telling you how easy it is to replace you. He is such a great guy that women want him. He’s hoping it will make you rethink turning him down. Obviously if another woman, who is perfect, wants him you should too. Block him. There is nothing good going to come from remaining in contact. He is trying to bully you into dating him.

    #854432 Reply

    Girl. “No Contact.” It means you *block* the person you broke up with (you said in one of your posts he was your boyfriend btw, remember that?) on all forms of contact, so that he can’t reach you with any bullshit such as this. For 60 days minimum. But this guy should be blocked forever. Disregard this rule and continue to get hurt. You honestly did this one to yourself. But yes, he’s trying to make you feel bad. Because he’s a jerk who likes making you feel bad. Are you surprised?

    #854433 Reply

    And if you go on Match or Tinder looking for your ex, or trying to meet other guys, and you see your ex on the site, you need to immediately block him.

    #854435 Reply

    Why are you wasting any more of your time wondering why he behaves the way he does? You have no interest in him, remember? So stop wondering. Every time he pops into your head, consciously choose to divert your attention elsewhere. He’s an asshole who enjoys making you feel badly, probably because he feels very badly about himself. He’s crazy. He doesn’t love you. There’s nothing to be gained by allowing him to occupy your mind any longer.

    Block him, as Kate said and move on from that horrible guy.

    #854602 Reply

    He’s being horrible to you because he’s a jerk. He didn’t like being rejected and it made him feel bad, so now he is purposely trying to make you feel bad. You only went on a few dates and passed on him before he showed his true colors, so consider him a bullet dodged and cut him off. Don’t give him the time of day or power to make you feel bad.

    Oh, and if, in the future, you encounter other guys who say they’re in love with you after just a few dates, run like the wind!

    #854684 Reply

    I have my doubts this new girl even exists. Think about it – when you are over the moon about a new paramour do you bother getting in touch with your ex to rub it in their face? No. You are too busy being over the moon to bother with such antics. Any ex is insignificant once TRUE love hits again.

    He is definitely using this fictitional person to control and manipulate you.

    #854714 Reply

    I am so sorry he is being rude to you. It is unfair! He is just hurt because he is embarrassed that he had such strong feelings and you didn’t feel the same way. He is just trying to make you jealous and is just trying to get some sort of reaction out of you. I think it is best for you to avoid him and block him on all social media platforms. It will benefit you and your emotional well being in the long run! Don’t let his hurtful words bring you down.

    #854785 Reply

    He sounds like a textbook narcissist. You were smart to break things off now move forward without any doubts, regardless of the drama he’s creating. Who finds a perfect girl, tells his ex, the day after being dumped? A crazy person, this is just the tip of the iceberg of his abuse and crazymaking. Please block him everywhere and have NC. No good could come from knowing a person like this, all they offer is more of the same.

    #865185 Reply

    We’ve answered this question several times, and our responses have been the same. Why are you still asking this? The answer isn’t going to change

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