Is it alright if I don’t say anything?

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  • Corgimom
    June 9, 2023 at 5:27 pm #1123066

    Long story short, one of my best friends (Tanya) has decided to end her relations with one of our mutual friends (Denise – whom she has known longer than I).

    I am aware why she decided to cut ties. Denise is currently blissfully unaware and hasn’t bothered to keep contact with Tanya anyway, so they haven’t spoken to each other for about a year. Denise has been asking me to hang out, which I am fine with but am balancing back and forth on what to do if she asks me about Tanya. Personally I’m of the opinion that it’s not my responsibility to say anything as I believe it’s on both of them to figure it out and I’m trying to stay out of it as much as possible.
    However, I have been in situations previously where some friends have confronted me and got mad at me over why I didn’t say why another person didn’t like them before (and I kept quiet for the same reasons), which has made me insecure over this situation.

    Looking to see what other opinions there are on this.
    Thank you for reading.

    June 9, 2023 at 5:55 pm #1123067

    You’re not obligated to share or withhold information. If I were in your situation, I would be honest if asked directly “hey, why isn’t Tanya talking to me anymore?”, but otherwise casually avoid the topic. If Tanya asked you to not say anything to Denise, you can simply say “you will have to ask Tanya about that.”

    This is not your burden to bare. You are the only one in control of your relationships – you can’t control who other people like.

    June 9, 2023 at 6:46 pm #1123068

    Thanks for the input! I really do appreciate other opinions on this because I tend to second guess myself a bit when it comes to the ethics of these situations.

    I’m practicing on what to say if I am directly asked about the situation, just so I am prepared and I don’t straight up melt if confronted and end up saying something that could potentially affect the situation more.

    June 10, 2023 at 7:38 am #1123069

    “I don’t know, have you asked her?”

    I think you are overthinking this. They haven’t spoken in a long time and it seems to be mutual.

    Miss MJ
    June 13, 2023 at 6:12 pm #1123111

    Oh, yeah, just stay out of it and refer either one who asks you about it to the other person. Also, make it clear you’re not here for a bitch session by either one about the other. That’s the way to avoid the drama here.

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Is it alright if I don’t say anything?

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