Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Is it normal not to ‘fall’ after a month of dating?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Is it normal not to ‘fall’ after a month of dating?

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 34 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #864067 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    You’ve only been seeing each other for a month, but busy schedules have kept you apart for 2 weeks. That says to me that neither one of you is really feeling it. The beginning of a relationship is when you’re glued to each other. Even if busy you still manage to steal a few minutes or sacrifice sleep for one more kiss. You both seem lukewarm. He is not your one chance of happiness, I promise

    #864069 Reply
    avatarEmily
    Guest

    I genuinely chuckled when you said that I wasn’t meant to be a rebel. You’re not wrong, hahaha.

    I’d like your opinion. Say that I were to decide to end things with him. How do I even go on about this? I know we’re going to meet this coming week for dinner. Do I just go straight for it before dinner? During? After? The only reason why I’m even contemplating at all is because he always pays even when I say that I can.

    Sorry for asking such a trivial question.

    #864071 Reply
    avatarMiss MJ
    Guest

    One month in and after two weeks apart, I wouldn’t bother going to dinner. Call him ASAP (or even text, maybe, depending on how you’ve been communicating thus far) and tell him that it’s not working for you and you don’t think you should see each other anymore. The end. You really don’t owe him anything more than that.

    #864074 Reply
    avatarEmily
    Guest

    You’re not wrong, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable just abruptly ending things after everything’s been going so fine between us (e.g., we text all the time). Plus, we’re in a small circle so there’d be no avoiding him at future events. If I were to end things, I wouldn’t want there to be any hard feelings, you know? But perhaps that’s just wishing for too much.

    #864075 Reply
    avatarAnge
    Guest

    Having once been dumped at the start of a lunch date then being stuck there for the duration of the meal I can unequivocally say don’t break up with this guy at any part of a date, do it beforehand.

    #864076 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Omg, is this guy a scary asshole? You seem really worried about his reaction.

    Just say you have really enjoyed getting to know him and spending time with him, but there’s no chemistry.

    #864077 Reply
    avatarMiss MJ
    Guest

    Then I’d definitely call him. Meeting up and dropping it on him at the restaurant seems, dramatic and not nice to me? You don’t need some big breakup conversation, given the facts here. And there shouldn’t be any hard feelings. It’s only been a couple of weeks. It just isn’t working out – it happens, no big deal.

    #864078 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    And yeah, not on a date. On the phone.

    #864081 Reply
    avatarEmily
    Guest

    Hahaha no, no. He’s a genuinely nice and very understanding person, so I’m sure that he’d accept whatever I say. I’m just a worrywart, especially when it comes to stuff like this.

    But isn’t it just so strange if I just drop the bombshell on him? Like, everything’s been going well and then out of nowhere, I’m like, “And I oop– sorry, I changed my mind. Imma dip.” (Obviously, I would never say those words to him lol that was me joking.)

    #864082 Reply
    avatarEmily
    Guest

    Also, to add on to my previous post, especially more so since I’m definitely going to run into him in the future (we’re in the same small career field so there’s no getting around it).

    #864091 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    No, it’s not strange. There’s no need to date someone forever because you have mutual friends or work in the same field.

    #864096 Reply
    avatarMiss MJ
    Guest

    Nah. And, it’s not really a bombshell from out of nowhere. Y’all haven’t seen each other in two weeks. He’s not gonna be shocked. I’d imagine he’s got a feeling this isn’t going to work out, you know? Not that he may not be disappointed or whatever, but he’s a big boy. He’ll deal just fine. Don’t overthink it. You went out a few times, you decided it wasn’t going to work out for you and ended it before things had time to get messy. And if you tell it like that, there shouldn’t really be any drama here.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 34 total)
Reply To: Is it normal not to ‘fall’ after a month of dating?
Your information: