Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Is it time to get stronger or leave.

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Is it time to get stronger or leave.

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  • #1090471 Reply
    Pooja
    Guest

    Ok i am 25 and i am from traditional Nepal. I got married to my boyfriend of 5 year a year ago. We always had trouble communicating but lately i feel like we are no longer compatible. Im in my first year of my masters education he works in high stress job and is in lots of debt.
    Before we got married i knew his stresses and he even dropped out of college to help his family business. But these days all he does is stress out. He gets angry alot . We arent even like a couple. Due to lock down and the fact that as tradition here in Nepal we live with his family all i am doing is cooking and cleaning. I try my best at the whole housewife and in laws things but its hard.
    As always hes self involved i feel highly disrespected and unloved.
    All im told is to power through and its the burden of wives in Nepal.
    I know i dont have a job yet and it is hard to study and work in Nepal as wages are so low.
    I dont know what to do. We have been together since we were 18, he was my best friend. I get how hard life is here and how hard we must work to ensure a proper survival.but i feel like running away or even killing myself. But both of these things will bring nth but pain and shame to my parents.
    I dont have to strength to do anything reckless but i dont wanna feel so used, unloved and alone. At the same time i want to throw all these feeling away and just study and get a respectable job so i can say fuck u all and make my crown. But i need help

    #1090522 Reply
    bloodymediocrity
    Participant

    Most of the posters here have a pretty western perspective, which is much less family oriented than traditional culture from Nepal. It’s very easy for us to say “just leave him” because we’re focused on independence here to a painful fault.

    So with that in mind, I’m not going to say “leave him”, even though that’s ultimately what I think is the right thing to do.

    You do need to level with him and make sure he is understanding how unhappy and miserable you are, and if he’s unwilling to do anything to mitigate that, you should do what you have to do to live a happy life. Even if it means hurting your husbands feelings, shaming your parents.

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