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Dear Wendy

Is it weird to ask a guy to hang out in my circumstances?

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This topic contains 15 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by Dear Wendy Dear Wendy 3 days, 1 hour ago.

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  • #837182 Reply
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    adviceme
    Member

    Is it weird to ask a guy I’ve hooked up with to hang out as friends? We’ve only hooked up twice, but he lives near where I work and it would be nice to have a friend in that part of town. I just moved to a new city so I don’t have that many guy friends and I think he seems super chill!

    Take in mind though the last conversation we had was me texting him for a ride/to hook up when I was out drunk one time!! He said he couldn’t at the time and I texted him the next day saying sorry but he didn’t reply!

    Let me know what you all think if it’s weird to ask to get coffee or something as friends!

    #837183 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    His penis has been inside you are you’re concerned coffee is asking too much???

    #837184 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    You’ve drunk texted him, so I don’t see why asking him for a coffee would be awkward. He didn’t respond last time, though.

    #837185 Reply
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    dogmom

    I know you gave us very little to go on but I don’t think he’s interested, in hanging out as friends or hooking up? The last time you texted him to hook up he turned you down and then never responded to your follow-up text. IDK I could be wrong but it seems like he’s over it.

    #837186 Reply
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    adviceme
    Member

    Just like hanging out with friends!

    #837190 Reply
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    dogmom

    Right, I don’t think he’s interested in hanging as friends. Like @anonymousse and I both said, he never responded to your last text. I could be wrong, but if I were interested in keeping the lines of communication open for anything (hook-up, sexless hang-out, whatever), I would have responded to a text.

    #837192 Reply
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    MP

    I really don’t see the harm in asking him to hang out as friends since you’re new to the city and are looking for new male friends.

    I’m curious as to why you were apologizing to him though? Because I don’t see why you felt the need to apologize to him when he said he couldn’t give you a ride! Please correct me if I’m misunderstanding!

    #837193 Reply
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    MP

    All that said though he didn’t text you back….. that doesn’t really seem like friend-seeking behavior. I’d maybe reach out to him ONCE more and if he’s not enthusiastically friendly I’d let it go.

    #837195 Reply
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    adviceme
    Member

    I just felt bad because it was a drunk text and I definitely have asked him for a ride before he asked me to hang out the second time! I just said sorry I need to stop asking you for rides when I’m drunk!! <- which is true haha

    #837197 Reply
    Bon Vivant
    Bon Vivant
    Participant

    Not sure why you suddenly want to hang out as “friends” with someone you’ve previously hooked up with, and who rebuffed your attempt to hook up again. I’d search out new “friends” elsewhere, personally.

    #837198 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    I think he sees you as a hookup. Not as a friend.

    #837206 Reply
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    MP

    Ah, yeah you definitely didn’t need to apologize!

    Would it be more helpful for advisers to give you advice on how to make friends in a new city maybe? I don’t know how much this dude wants to be your friend – sorry to say.

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