Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Is my friend really my friend

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This topic contains 19 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by avatar LisforLeslie 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #742281 Reply
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    zoey
    Member

    I have a best friend that I have known for about 10 years. I looked at her as if she was my sister. Recently a lot of issues have come to light in her relationship with her boyfriend and I have had to deal with the consequences. The first issue came when her boyfriend stole my banking information and setup a auto draft payment for her car insurance. I found out when the charges started to hit my account and when I addressed the issue she stated she didn’t know anything about and he made a mistake by using my account info. We didn’t speak for about 2 weeks and I took her word and forgave her. Her boyfriend of more than 10 years recently found out by going thru her phone that she has been cheating on him with my brother and 1 or 2 other men. I was not aware that she was sleeping with my brother (this went on for about 2 years) but I did know of one other guy she was secretly dating. I was very upset with her that she never told me what was going on right under my nose with my bro. she claims it was a mistake. When it all came to light her boyfriend got so angry that he put sugar in the gas tank of my car. She doesn’t seem a bit concerned that I ended up having to spend all this money for the damages done to my property. I had to get a rental car for about 2 months while my car was being repaired, had to continue to pay my car note with insurance. it was just overwhelming. The entire time she nor he gave me nothing towards my damages. Would a friend even out another friend in a situation like that? Should I cut her off completely to not deal with no more drama?

    #742283 Reply
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    MMR

    She’s not your friend.

    Get a lawyer and see if you can sue her or her bf for fraud and/or property damage. Collect all the evidence you have everything that’s happened, including text messages, DMs, etc.

    I’m wondering how you know that *HE* is responsible for all of this? Did she tell you that? Cus I sure as shit wouldn’t believe a word out of her mouth. She absolutely knew about the car payment – no question.

    Don’t trust anything she says

    #742284 Reply
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    JD

    Why would her boyfriend do those things? That doesn’t add up. Her sleeping with your brother isn’t your business FYI. You have no right or reason to be mad about that. The other stuff though, why would you want any of that in your life? Also, get a restraining order against her BF, assuming it is him, which sounds odd and press charges. Stop complaining about letting things happen. No rational person would not be calling the police.

    #742285 Reply
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    NewLife1234
    Member

    Dear zoe:

    Your… supposed friend told you that her boyfriend made a mistake misusing your bank account and she told you that sleeping with your brother was a mistake.

    Mistakes are things we do because we don’t pay enough attention to what we are doing. For example (my recent mistakes): using too much bleach doing laundry and ruining the bedsheets I was washing, or a moment ago, biting my inner lip while eating too fast. I wasn’t paying attention.

    But stealing another’s bank information, sleeping with another repeatedly for two years (as well as pouring sugar into your gas tank and not paying for that damage)- these are not mistakes. These are planned actions.

    You asked if a friend will do such things to a friend: my answer is no. A friend wouldn’t.

    I hope you protect yourself best you can, maybe involving the police, from this woman and her boyfriend, and that you recover from damage already done to you.

    anita

    #742289 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    I…what? You think this person is a friend? WTF?

    Why did her boyfriend damage YOUR car because his girlfriend was screwing your brother? You should have pressed charges against the boyfriend, both for the car damage and stealing money from your bank account. He’s a dirtbag, and possibly a dangerous one.

    And as for your friend, any decent person would have been beyond horrified that her boyfriend had done these things to you, and given you money to cover the damage.

    She’s not your friend. Cut off contact with her and her dirtbag boyfriend. Today.

    #742292 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    No, she is not your friend. Instead she is most clearly a deranged bitch.
    .
    PS — As several others have cleverly suggested — NEWSFLASH!! It was SHE who “misused” your banking info “by mistake.” She was the one to benefit, not the fall boyfriend…

    #742293 Reply
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    K4

    Sorry, JD but I have to disagree. I dont know about guy code but girl code states that you either dont sleep with your friends sibling or talk to them about it beforehand. Since that is her family, you are supposed to be her friend and situations like that can get sticky and people’s feelings can get hurt, it is kind of a big deal.

    #742294 Reply
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    K4

    Im going to have to agree with Mark. Highly suspicious that her boyfriend lashed out at you for her shortcomings.

    Either way, dont walk away from her; run! She is shady and a trouble magnet.

    #742297 Reply
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    JD

    Girl code is for teenagers. Adults want their siblings and friends to be happy whoever they are with. Immature way to exist.

    #742298 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    Why does ANYONE have access your banking information??

    Why would he put sugar in YOUR gas tank?

    You need to see or talk to a counselor and get to the root of the problem, which is—-why you accept and forgive these horrible people who steal from you and ruin your belongings, while you stand idly by. It’s really sad that you don’t know whether or not she’s your friend. She’s totally screwing you over and has been for awhile now.

    Call the police report his theft, report the destruction of property and move on. Consider suing in small claims court. Block her completely,

    #742300 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Get a lawyer! If what’s written here is true, she’s bad news and her (ex?)boyfriend is breaking the law. To answer your question, assuming he put sugar in your gas tank, you should be pressing charges again/trying to money from him, not her. However, like others, I wonder if it was her stealing your bank info and meddling with your car, not him. Either way, get a lawyer because theft and property damage are not normal or okay, and yes, stay far, far away from both of them.

    Oh, and I’m with @JD that she didn’t owe you an explanation about your brother.

    #742301 Reply
    Lucidity
    Lucidity
    Member

    A lot of things aren’t adding up here.

    Why is your friend’s boyfriend setting up her insurance payments for her? As others have pointed out, it’s obvious she either did this herself or deliberately gave him your information.

    Why would the boyfriend put sugar in YOUR gas tank after learning your friend was cheating on him? Could it be that after he confronted her about her cheating, she suspected you of telling him (since you knew about one of the men and she figured you were pissed about the bank fraud) and did it herself for revenge?

    It sounds like she’s using him as a scapegoat for her own bad behaviour, but even if the above is just wild speculation, her laissez-faire reactions to her boyfriend’s actions answered your question – no, she’s not your friend.

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