Home › Forums › Advice & Chat › Is She Giving Me Signals?
Tagged: dating, relationships
- This topic has 11 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 months, 1 week ago by
LisforLeslie.
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AuthorPosts
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UpstartHyena
ParticipantHello!
This is a little awkward for me, but here it goes…
I don’t read social cues well. Never have. Anyway, I’m writing asking advice on whether this woman is interested in me or not.
It all started a couple of months ago. I had lost my driver’s license and debit card. I went to the bank to close my old card and get a new one. The bank manager was very helpful, sweet, and kind. (She’s also VERY attractive.) I thanked her and went on my way, thinking nothing more of the encounter.
I went back a couple of weeks later to order some checks. The bank manager is at one of the windows. She sees me come in and starts talking to me, asking how my job is going (I recently moved to town) and if I liked it. We chatted and I left, again, thinking nothing more of the encounter. (I didn’t want to assume anything.)
Today, I go to the bank to deposit a check. Again, the bank manager is in the lobby, and she approaches me, asks, “How’s the new gigs?” I tell her fine, finish my deposit, and I leave. As she’s talking to me, she’s looking right at me, as if she’s genuinely interested, but I don’t know. I don’t want to assume things.
Am I thinking too much in this? If she is interested in me, how do I go about asking her out? She’s a bank manager, after all. Any advice would be appreciated.
Upstart Hyena.
Tui
ParticipantNo. It’s her job to be nice and helpful to customers and it’s not appropriate to ask her out at work. See if there’s any activities like meet up groups in your new town so you can meet people in more casual settings and get to know them.
Kate
KeymasterWhat Tui said. She’s a professional person who’s good at her job.
We get so many letters from men who think a woman in a work setting is interested in them because she is pleasant, smiling, and makes eye contact. 1) she’s just doing her job, and 2) never ask someone out at their work. They are there to earn a paycheck, not to date.
Fyodor
GuestIf you pay $500 for my PUA course I will reach you all the secret attraction signals that will let you know if the bank teller or Starbucks barista secretly wants to bang you as well as how to manifest an aura of dominance that will reel them in.
GuestSeriously though, it’s her job to be friendly to customers. She does not want to date you. Do not bother people at their jobs. You put them in a very uncomfortable position because they can’t walk away like someone in a normal social situation.
There are a gazillion ways to meet women. Join a club. Create an online dating profile. There is some nice lady out there who would like to date you. Find that person and do not bother the lady trying to set up your checking account.
GuestAlso it’s just extremely corrosive to women professionally when men act this way. It diminishes her in the eyes of her coworkers, many of whom seize on this opportunity and stop seeing her professionally and make her the object of jokes.
Anonymousse
GuestMaking eye contact does not mean she’s interested in you. It’s just literally a thing humans do when they are talking to another human.
Everyone covered it. She has shown no interest in you, other than as a valued customer of her bank. She’s good at her job and remembers talking to you before. It does not mean she is interested in you.
CopaParticipantI missed this one. Everyone else nailed it, but I’m always kind of amazed how many men write in asking if a woman they’ve barely interacted with is into them because she was nice, looked at them, and/or smiled.
GuestWe truly can’t win. Either we’ve got bitch face on and we’re intimidating and unapproachable or a slight glance is a come on.
KeymasterI really feel for women who deal with the public.
PassingBy
GuestIf she wants to date you, she will ask you to go on a date.
LisforLeslie
GuestIf this employee were a man you’d feel flattered that this person remembered you and made you feel that your business was important and valued. Because this is a woman, you’ve interpreted this as that you are important and valued as a potential dating partner and have completely ignored the fact that she is attempting to make your customer experience pleasant.
You’ve completely dismissed her professional manner because of her gender.
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